The Walls That Support the Fort
by Free as the Birds
Summary: Who is Beast Boy? Is he even real? Or is he just a mask to shield the real Beast Boy from the world? What happens when the other Titans find out? How will they help Beast Boy? Will they make him better, or worse?
1. Reflection

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

Reflection

Sunlight penetrated through the curtains of a certain changeling's room in Titans Tower. Said resident of the messy and untidy room groaned and buried his face into his pillow to block out the light. Before the green shape shifter could fall back into slumber, a loud knocking on his door jerked him awake.

"Friend Beast Boy! Arise! One should not be asleep on a day as beautiful and wondrous as today!" Starfire called.

Beast Boy grumbled and reluctantly got out of bed. He knew if he didn't, Starfire would probably drag him out of bed. She did that once, and he had bruises for a week. Beast Boy shuffled to his bathroom, grabbing a fresh uniform from his closet as he did so. Starfire seemed satisfied at the sounds of the water running from Beast Boy's bathroom. She floated to the common room, humming a happy tune.

* * *

Beast Boy had just finished freshening up and was on his way out of the bathroom. He glanced to his right and tried to force himself not to look. It appeared that he failed to do so, as he did every day, and found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror. Beast Boy stared hard at his reflection, scrutinizing every feature.

Beast Boy sighed and giving the mirror one last glance, trudged back to his room. Beast Boy sat on the lower bunk bed and gazed at his room sorrowfully. He felt trapped, like an encaged animal. Everyday, he had to live a life that was not his. Beast Boy was a mask, a façade, that prevented the real him from emerging.

Beast Boy was a goofball. He liked cracking lame jokes and never took things seriously. Beast Boy wasn't smart; he didn't know big words and had little to no knowledge of mathematics and science. Beast Boy loved tofu and playing videogames and probably wouldn't be able to live without these two things in his life.

However, he, Garfield Mark Logan, the boy behind the mask, was different. Garfield took things seriously and he definitely wouldn't crack jokes when the situation was dire. Garfield hated tofu. He found it too squishy and artificial for his taste. He also had no interest in video games. Playing video games strained his eyes and blurred his vision. And Garfield was anything but stupid. He had an intensive knowledge on animals and had a natural talent for mathematics and science, which wasn't surprising, considering that he had professional biologists for parents.

Beast Boy was the exact opposite of Garfield, except for the fact that they both loved making people smile. Beast Boy was who Garfield had to be and who he is now. Beast Boy tried to weaken his mask, let some personalities of Garfield show, but…he couldn't let go. Garfield couldn't let go of Beast Boy, because like it or not, Beast Boy is now a part of him. He had tried to take off the mask once, but couldn't find the confidence to do it. It would raise too much suspicion with his teammates. He couldn't one day be all happy and goofy and the next day be quiet and serious.

Beast Boy picked up a small mirror from the floor and stared at his reflection again. After seeing his reflection for nearly ten years, he still couldn't get used to it. Green used to be his favorite color, but now he utterly despised it. He scratched his skin, trying to get the sickly color off his skin, but he knew that it would never come off. It seems he can never escape the color green. Even his room was green! He just had to be unlucky and get the room that was painted green, didn't he? Yup, that was him, Garfield Mark Logan, the unluckiest guy on this miserable planet.

* * *

Beast Boy entered the common room with a big goofy grin pasted on his face.

"Morning, dudes!" Beast Boy said loudly.

"I wish you a most happy and wondrous morning!" Starfire said cheerily, while Robin mumbled a greeting from behind his newspaper.

"What took you so long, BB?! It's almost eleven!" Cyborg said through a mouthful of bacon.

"But you're still eating breakfast." Beast Boy pointed out, grabbing a container of tofu from the fridge.

"This isn't breakfast; this is a meal I have after breakfast and before lunch. Urgh, how can you eat something so disgusting in the morning?!" Cyborg exclaimed, staring at Beast Boy's tofu in disgust.

"What are you talking about, dude? Tofu is the best food in the world! And it smells wonderful too!" Beast Boy said, inwardly gagging at the nauseating smell of tofu.

"Tofu makes your brain rot! See, I eat meat, that's why I'm so smart!" Cyborg said.

"Animal murderer! How can you eat meat?! I turned into most of those animals!" Beast Boy yelled.

Their fight soon escalated into another meat and tofu argument. The other Titans in the room paid them no mind, as it was now a normal morning routine.

* * *

After breakfast, Beast Boy sat on the couch with the other Titans to watch some television. Beast Boy was still biting and rolling his tongue, trying to get rid of the nasty taste of tofu. He almost messed up during the meat and tofu fight just now. Instead of yelling 'TOFU', he almost yelled, 'MEAT'. Luckily for him, none of the Titans seemed to notice. Beast Boy tried to calm himself down and get a hold of his emotions. He didn't want Raven to get suspicious if she felt angry or depressive emotions emanating from him.

Beast Boy hated it when he had to be quiet or when nobody was talking, like now. It was easier to maintain the façade when he was talking. It felt like an automatic reaction. Whenever someone talked to him, he would just automatically say something stupid, something only Beast Boy would say. Sometimes, he hated the mask and sometimes he appreciated it. Right now, he hated it, because he felt like the mask controlled him. It controlled every thought, every movement and every word he said.

* * *

The rest of the day went by fairly uneventfully and Beast Boy finally retreated back to his room after dinner. Beast Boy climbed onto his upper bunk bed and fell back onto his pillow. He sighed, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, and closed his eyes.

Beast Boy put on a grin, and tried to think about videogames and tofu. He had to do this every night, because those are the only things Beast Boy ever thinks about. Even his dreams are consumed by them. Beast Boy doesn't get nightmares, because he's always happy and has nothing to worry about. Beast Boy can't get nightmares, he's not allowed to. The closest thing he will get to a nightmare is if he dreamed all the tofu in the world disappeared.

Garfield Logan has nightmares. They remind him of his past mistakes and what he could have done to prevent them. The nightmares haunt him every night. This causes him to have a restless night and have below the average amount of sleep a regular person should have. That was why he woke up late every morning, which the other Titans dismissed as laziness.

He felt so pathetic, he even had to lie to himself, convince himself that he's Beast Boy. But he isn't. He's not even Garfield Logan, not anymore. He doesn't know who or what he is, and he doesn't want to find out. Right now, he is Beast Boy, and that is who he has to be for now and forever.


	2. Drowning in Agony

Thanks for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Drowning in Agony

"Yo, BB! Are you finished yet?" Cyborg called, banging his fist on the bathroom door.

"Just a few more minutes!" Beast Boy shouted back.

Beast Boy leaned against the bathroom door and sighed. There was a little 'accident' a few days ago. All the bathrooms in the Tower got flooded due to an unexplainable water surge. Cyborg and Robin had managed to fix the main bathroom in the hallway, but the other bathrooms in the Tower were still out of order. So now all of the Titans were fighting for this bathroom.

Beast Boy walked over to the sink and scrubbed his hands with soap vigorously. After a few minutes, he rinsed his hands with water. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he still couldn't get the nasty green color off his skin. He wondered if he cut his skin at the surface, it would heal back in Caucasian or green skin. With his luck, it would probably grow back in green skin. However, it doesn't hurt to try. Maybe he'll experiment on it later.

* * *

Beast Boy wiped his hands dry and pulled his leather gloves back over his hands. Beast Boy tightened the straps on his gloves and peered in the mirror. Suddenly, the bathroom door slammed open, making Beast Boy jump away from the mirror in shock.

"I can't wait any longer, man! I really need to use the bathroom!" Cyborg said angrily, striding into the bathroom.

Beast Boy quickly recovered from his shock and said, "Why do you even need to use the bathroom? You're half-robot. You don't need to bathe, brush teeth, wash hands or anything."

"I was working on my car in the garage. Turns out that my baby had a gas leak. Now I need to wash the oil off my hands." Cyborg explained, turning on the tap.

"You could just use the kitchen sink." Beast Boy pointed out.

Cyborg sighed. "Starfire busted it again. She mistook a caterpillar for some kind of alien monster and shot a massive starbolt at it."

Cyborg finished washing his hands and turned back to Beast Boy. "What were you doing in here just now, man? I saw you staring at the mirror."

Beast Boy stiffened. _Crap. Quick, think of an excuse! What would Beast Boy say?_ "Uhh, I was just checking out my good looks in the mirror!"

Cyborg snorted. "Yeah, right. You can't even get a date! Besides, I'm waaay better looking than you."

"I can too get a date! And girls would totally go for a guy like me! You know chicks dig the ears!" Beast Boy retorted.

"You mean those elf ears? They look weird and freakish! And you're green, man, who would go out with you?" Cyborg asked rhetorically.

Beast Boy winced internally. Ouch. That comment really hurt. Is that how everyone sees him? If this is how his best friend views him, does the rest of the world sees him as a hideous and terrifying monster?

"Now, I have the good looks and charm. Not to mention-" Cyborg continued to compare himself to Beast Boy as he exited the bathroom and pointed out Beast Boy's each and every fault. He even made a snide comment at Beast Boy's fang.

Beast Boy felt his heart drop lower and lower with each word that came out of Cyborg's mouth. He didn't think that his imperfections were so obvious. Beast Boy followed Cyborg down the hallway towards the common room. Beast Boy knew Cyborg was right though, he was only pointing out the truth. The horrible and nasty truth. So Beast Boy wasn't mad at Cyborg for saying these things. He also knew that Cyborg was only saying these things to prove that he was better than Beast Boy, which he was totally fine with. Because Cyborg _is_ better than him. Heck, everyone and _everything_ on this planet is better than him.

* * *

They finally stopped in front of the common room doors. Cyborg turned around and grinned at Beast Boy. "Aw, don't worry, BB. I'm sure you can find a girlfriend eventually. Come on, I'm gonna squash you in Rocket Racers 2.0, grass stain!" Cyborg ran into the common room and grabbed the game controllers from the sofa.

Beast Boy followed and shouted a half-hearted insult at Cyborg. Beast Boy appreciated Cyborg for trying to cheer him up, but he was just trying to instill false hope in Beast Boy.

After a few minutes of playing, Cyborg paused the game with his controller.

"Dude, what did you do that for? I was in the middle of kicking your butt!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

Cyborg chuckled. "Yeah, right!" Cyborg looked up and checked that the other Titans in the room were preoccupied and could not hear their conversation. Cyborg lowered his voice and said, "Look, I've been meaning to talk to ya, B. I noticed you have been acting a little…well, off. So, are you alright?"

Beast Boy's eyes widened momentarily. _He noticed?!_ "What do you mean, Cy? Nothing's wrong!"

"Well, you were kinda quiet these past few days." Cyborg replied.

"Oh, I was just uh, thinking and stuff." Beast Boy said.

Cyborg snorted. "You can think? I guess we don't have to invest in a brain for you after all."

"Hey!" Beast Boy cried angrily.

Cyborg rolled his eyes before getting back to the matter at hand. "Seriously, man, what's up with you? I didn't even see you play any video games yesterday!" Cyborg said, looking concerned.

Beast Boy sighed, "Okay, okay, Cy, you got me. I was planning my greatest prank ever to pull on Raven!"

Cyborg groaned. "Do you ever give up? Raven is grumpy enough as it is without you pulling a prank on her."

Beast Boy inwardly sighed in relief that Cyborg fell for the story. He made a few slip ups this week, but he didn't think anyone would notice. He had to be more careful. "Raven might act like she hates being pranked, but I'm sure deep down she enjoys it."

"Did you hit your head or something? Because I think we need to get your brain checked." Cyborg said in reply.

The conversation soon turned towards food and videogames. Not long after, Beast Boy and Cyborg were arguing on whether meat or tofu was healthier.

* * *

Beast Boy slouched on the sofa in the common room. The rest of the Titans had gone to bed not long ago. Beast Boy said that he wanted to play some video games for a while before heading to bed. The Titans thought nothing of it as it was typical Beast Boy behavior. However, in truth, Beast Boy wanted to relax for a while and think about the things that have been bugging him since the talk with Cyborg. He really needed to be more careful around the Titans. If they noticed his weird behavior, they might start asking questions and that was something he didn't want to happen.

It was getting harder and harder everyday to maintain the façade. He was sick of acting happy every day. He couldn't even brood or be moody. If he did, the Titans would think that he was replaced by some alien clone. Beast Boy was envious of the other Titans lives. They always complain of the hardships and pain they endured, but that was nothing compared to Beast Boy's life.

Robin often complained about being in Batman's shadow and always seen as Batman's sidekick. However, he was respected and recognized by civilians and members of the hero community. Meanwhile Beast Boy was always seen as the green metahuman, the green freak that hung out with the Titans. He always encountered civilians that didn't even know his name or who he is. And he had been a hero in Jump City for almost three years!

Cyborg showed his hatred for his half-robot body frequently. He usually got into those moods during certain holidays or celebrations. He would hide in the garage and tinker with his car. Beast Boy tried to talk to him once, but Cyborg flew into a rage and started yelling about how unfortunate he was, being half-robot, rejected by society and so on. Beast Boy went through exactly what Cyborg did. Okay, maybe except for the half-robot part, but at least Cyborg still looked normal, or rather, half-normal. Beast Boy was green, all over, from head to toe! Forget rejected by society, he was most probably hated by everyone on this planet.

Starfire was always seen as the happy bubbly alien, but she had gone through many hardships as well. They weren't as bad as Beast Boy, but bad enough. She was betrayed by her own sister and given to the Gordanians as a peace treaty. However, she was able to put all that behind her and put on a joyful and happy smile every day. Beast Boy was envious of how she could forgive and forget so easily, which was something he could never and wouldn't do.

Raven was the dark and emotionless empath. She always said that she couldn't feel or have emotions because she would lose control of her powers. Beast Boy wished he could be like that. That way he wouldn't feel pain or anything.

The Titans didn't realize how fortunate they were. Beast Boy would give anything to be someone else, anyone, as long as it wasn't Beast Boy. That wouldn't be possible of course, because he didn't know how to be anyone else but Beast Boy. There was also the issue of his skin color. Even if he wore a holoring, the effects wouldn't last forever.

_I guess I just have to live with being Beast Boy until the day I die_, Beast Boy thought grimly.


	3. Behind the Mask

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Behind the Mask

Beast Boy sat on the couch in the common room, staring blankly at the television, his mind wandering elsewhere. He was jerked back to reality by someone calling his name. Beast Boy blinked and was startled to find Starfire peering worriedly at him.

"Friend? Are you feeling the alright?" Starfire questioned.

Beast Boy recovered quickly. "Um, yeah! I was just a little…err, distracted."

"Oh. I see." Starfire said solemnly. "Friend, why are you in the glorforgs?"

Beast Boy stared at Starfire in confusion. "Uh, what frogs?"

Starfire joined Beast Boy on the couch and bit her lip, seeming unsure how to explain. "You seem unhappy, friend. You do not do the laughing and smiling as often as you do. And you have also stopped the pranking, which you enjoy greatly. You do not look happy anymore when you play the videogames with Cyborg or when you do the wrestling of the arms with Robin. I have also done the noticing that you ceased doing the dances and songs of victory after a successful battle."

* * *

Beast Boy was surprised that Starfire of all people noticed and pointed out all these things. He should have expected this, though. Starfire may be naïve to human customs, but she was experienced in dealing with emotions and detecting odd behavior.

Beast Boy sighed. "Star-, look, it's kinda hard to explain. It's just…complicated, okay?"

Starfire's only response was to cross her arms and give him a stare that clearly said 'I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on'. _She most probably picked that up from Robin_, Beast Boy thought.

Beast Boy ran a hand through his hair, trying to sort out his thoughts. "I'm just going through a tough time, Star. Really, it's nothing."

"It is not 'nothing'! If you are experiencing problems, why did you not come to us for help? We are your friends, and we would gladly help you!" Starfire said, looking half-angry and half-upset.

Beast Boy shook his head. "You can't help. None of you can. This is more of a mental problem. I-, _my_ emotions, they're getting out of whack."

"We can still help! Raven-"

"-can't do anything! You don't understand, Starfire! This is-, you know what? Forget it. I'm not even supposed to tell you anything. I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything! I can deal with this. Thanks for the concern Star, but I got this under control." Beast Boy said, closing his eyes briefly and trying to calm down.

Starfire gazed at Beast Boy sadly. "No, friend, I do not think that you do. If you just-"

Beast Boy cut her off. "No, stop. Just leave it alone, Starfire. Don't tell anyone about this. Pretend this conversation never happened. _Please._" Beast Boy added.

Starfire looked like she wanted to pursue this subject further, but could not bear to see her teammate look at her so desperately and pleadingly. Starfire sighed and reluctantly relented. "Very well. I promise you by the moons of Centauri that I shall not tell anyone about this, not even _Robin_."

Beast Boy looked relieved. "Thanks, Star." He got up and proceeded to exit the common room.

"However," Starfire raised her voice and getting up as well. "I am sure it will not be too long before our friends notice your problem."

_One of them already has_, Beast Boy thought silently, thinking back to his conversation with Cyborg the other day. Beast Boy kept walking, eager to get away from Starfire. He just couldn't bear to see her look of pity and sympathy. He always couldn't stand it when people gave him that look. It was _nearly_ as bad as the look of disgust he often received from civilians.

* * *

In his room, Beast Boy was pacing up and down, hitting his head with his hand every few seconds.

"What was I thinking?! I should have just made up an excuse or something, but _nooo_, I went and tell her that I had a problem! I was lucky that Starfire confronted me about this. Imagine if it's Cyborg or Raven or even worse, _Robin_. He'll probably interrogate me and make some stupid conclusion that Slade have something to do with this. Urgh! I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Starfire will probably tell the other Titans everything before midnight! No, that's too optimistic, she'd tell them in an hour-no, half an hour-no! Ten minutes! I know she promised not to tell, but ugh, come on, this is Starfire, she can't keep secrets, she could just accidentally blurt it out. Gah! I am doomed!" Beast Boy proclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

Beast Boy stopped pacing and sat down on the floor. He had to think of a reasonable excuse if-no, _when_ the Titans confront him about his weird behavior. He needed a Beast Boy excuse. Something that have to do with tofu, videogames, girls, television and stuff like that. Of all times to be running low on ideas, it had to be now, of all times. Great. Of course, according to the Titans, he didn't have the brain capacity to create ideas.

Beast Boy slapped his head again. "See, that's why I'm so messed up in the first place. I always let other people insults get to me. I'm really pathetic, aren't I? I got to stop this. I need to focus. If I focused more, I wouldn't even get caught in the first place and I didn't have to go through all this trouble."

Beast Boy sighed and grabbed a stray piece of paper from the floor and took out a pen from his pocket. He started scribbling down possible excuses he could use, glancing at the door and clock every so often, almost expecting the Titans to barge in any minute.

* * *

_I never thought that this day would come. That the possibility that someone would find out about my mask_, Beast Boy thought.

It was the perfect mask. Flawless. Unbreakable. Impenetrable. But now…it was cracking. Slowly but surely. He didn't have the strength to pretend anymore. That's why if the Titans asked him, pushed him for answers, he'd probably give it away in an instant. He was breaking. The perfect mask of Beast Boy was breaking. And soon, it will fade away to nothingness, just like the other masks he had built during his miserable life.

_Why? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?! I can stand pain, physical pain, but not this. This is killing me! Where do I belong in this world? Where?! … Nowhere. I will forever be a shadow, invisible, worthless, not fit to be seen by the eyes of mankind._


	4. Master of Deduction

Thank you, people, for taking the time to review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Master of Deduction

Beast Boy's neck prickled uncomfortably as he was lifting weights in the training room. Beast Boy craned his neck and looked towards the other Titans. They all seemed preoccupied with their exercises and none of them were facing him. So why did he get the feeling he was being watched? This was the fifth time he had this feeling in two days.

There was a loud beeping from the training monitor, signaling the end of the training session. The Titans immediately stopped what they were doing and gathered together in the middle of the training room.

"Great job, Titans. Tomorrow we'll focus on speed and endurance training. I'll fill you guys on the details later." Robin said, before heading over to the punching bags for some extra training.

The other Titans nodded and proceeded to leave. Just as Beast Boy was about to walk out the door, the uncomfortable feeling returned. He frowned and turned his head slightly before quickly leaving the room. He could have been imagining it, but Beast Boy could have sworn he saw Robin staring at him. _Creepy..._

* * *

Beast Boy sat at the kitchen counter, absently doodling on a piece of paper.

"Beast Boy." said a low and gruff voice.

Beast Boy jumped and nearly fell out of his seat. He spun round and came face to face with Robin.

"Dude! Not cool! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Beast Boy said, putting his hands over his heart for emphasis.

Robin shrugged. "Sorry. Force of habit."

Beast Boy snorted, "Yeah, right. You've been doing that ninja thing ever since we formed the Titans. I bet you do that just so you can scare us!"

Robin shrugged, a small smirk forming on his lips. "It's funny to see you guys jump and freak out when I do that."

"Yeah. Funny. For _you_." Beast Boy muttered.

* * *

Robin cleared his throat. "Anyway, we need to talk."

"Dude, if it's about the time I put pink glitter in your hair gel, then I'm-"

Robin waved his hand in dismissal. "No, it's nothing about that. I was going to-wait, that was you?! You were the one that put that sparkly pink monstrosity in my hair gel?! I thought that was Cyborg!"

"Heh, my bad." Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.

"You-! Ugh…I'll deal with this later." Robin said, breathing deeply in an effort to get himself to calm down. "Okay, I've been letting this go on for a few months, and you seemed to have gotten worse, so…"

"Uh, sorry dude, but I have no idea what you are talking about." Beast Boy said, looking confused.

"Well, it's about you. And uh, you know, you are…um, not very…, I, ah, think that you should…" Robin trailed off, waving his hands wildly in the air, trying to express his thoughts with his actions.

"Uhh, maybe you should just start from the beginning?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah, right! So, uh, it all started when I noticed you looked depressed. I thought you were just thinking about the girl that looked like Terra because we bumped into her a few days before. I didn't do anything because I figured you just needed some time. You seemed fine the next day so I forgot all about it. But a few weeks later, you seemed down again. And I couldn't find anything that could make you feel this way. This occurred a few more times and in that time, I deduced that whatever you were dealing with was personal and mental.

"One day, I saw you looking in the hallway mirror. You looked angry. But the anger seemed to be directed at yourself. After that, I started noticing that your eyes flashed with self-hatred a few times during a day. I've talked with the others and apparently they do not know about your…dilemma. However, I would like you to tell me what is going on." Robin said.

Beast Boy was speechless. His eyes were wide, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water and his heart had actually stopped beating for a few seconds.

"If…if you knew this since, you know…why didn't you talk to me about this earlier?" Beast Boy asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, about that…you know I'm not very good with emotions and all that. And since this doesn't have anything to do with crime fighting and missions, I didn't really know how to talk about it." Robin replied with a look of embarrassment and guilt.

"O-okay. So, uh, what do you want to know?"

"Well, for starters, what is making you so depressed? I'm surprised Raven didn't notice yet. She is an empath, after all." Robin said.

Beast Boy shrugged. "I'm good at concealing my emotions."

Robin narrowed his eyes at that statement. Beast Boy mentally smacked himself on the head. _Idiot! Shouldn't have said that! And why did I use the word 'conceal'? I'm pretty sure Beast Boy doesn't use words like that! Stupid me! I just gave him another reason to be more suspicious of me. This is not going to help my case at all._

* * *

Beast Boy sighed, "Okay, dude, you got me. But I'm totally fine, and I got this thingy under control. So uh, yeah, I gotta go now?"

Beast Boy made a move to get up, but Robin grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "Oh, no, you're not getting out of this so easily. Not after all the trouble I went through to talk to you."

"What trouble? You already got all the info you need and all that. If you want to talk to me, just talk." Beast Boy said.

Robin dragged his hand over his face frustratedly. "You know I'm not good at talking about this kind of stuff."

"You can talk to criminals and face the most powerful and scariest villain in history, but you can't do _this_. Huh. No wonder it took so long for you and Starfire to get together." Beast Boy said, rolling his eyes.

Robin growled at that. "We're getting off topic here. I want to know what's wrong with you! Tell me now!"

Beast Boy glared at Robin. "Why do you want to know so badly?! I said I got it under control!"

"Obviously not with the way you've been acting these past few months! If this continues, this could affect your battle performance!" Robin shot back angrily.

"It will not! My battle performance is just fine! And I've also been working out and training longer recently! You may be our leader, but you don't get to interf-you don't butt into our lives!" Beast Boy spat.

Robin snorted. "Oh, and a leader can't be concerned about the welfare of his teammate?"

"This isn't concern, this is sticking your nose in other people's business!" Beast Boy snapped.

"Well, then, why don't you just-!" Robin stopped and sighed tiredly. "Look, Beast Boy, if you don't want to tell me, uh us, about this, it's fine."

Beast Boy snorted. "You expect me to believe that? You're just trying to make me calm down then try to weasel the story out of me."

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" Robin protested. _Okay, maybe a little. I have a feeling I'm not getting anything out of him. Beast Boy can be very stubborn when he wants to. So unless I can _magically_ make him tell me everything, this is useless. Urgh, I wish someone else could have done this talk with him instead of me. _"I think we should end this little talking session."

"Understatement of the year. It's more like a very long, angry and pointless talking session." Beast Boy mumbled under his breath.

"Just remember that you can talk to us, any of us, if you need help okay?" Robin said in a lighter tone, before leaving the room.

* * *

"I do not need help! First Starfire, and now Robin!" Beast Boy huffed. "I wasn't expecting Robin to notice my so called 'problem'. I mean, yeah, the guy's been trained by the World's Greatest Detective, but he still doesn't have any speaking skills. Oh, man! What if he rats me out to the other Titans?! Well, of course he'll tell them! And then they'll start asking me questions. Cyborg will be like, 'I'm your best friend! Why didn't you tell me?' and give me that guilt talk. Starfire will be all 'I told you so' in her own Starfire-ish way and give me that look again. And Raven will probably do some magicky thing to make me spout out answers. Shit! What do I do?"

Beast Boy crunched up the piece of paper he was doodling on earlier. "I could…I could blackmail him! Yeah! But oh, that's stupid! How can I possibly blackmail Robin, of all people?" Beast Boy paused to think. "Hmm…, maybe, just maybe, if I asked nicely for him to-"

Robin suddenly burst through the common room doors and strode into the kitchen.

Beast Boy yelped in surprise, "Dude! What are you doing back so soon?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I won't tell the other Titans anything about the conversation just now." Robin said.

Beast Boy eyed Robin suspiciously. "Ookay?" How did he do that? I was just thinking about that just now…aloud! Did he bug the room? I hope he didn't bug the room or plant some recording device on me!

"I'm serious, Beast Boy. I will keep quiet about this, just this once. Next time something like this happens, I will probably inform the others about it."

Beast Boy nodded dumbly, watching Robin walk out of the room again. _Okay, that was unexpected. Did I happen to fall into an alternate dimension or something? Because I'm pretty sure the Mr. Uptight Robin I know isn't like that._

Beast Boy stood up and stretched. _So, three Titans down, and one to go. Hopefully it won't come to that. I mean, if all the Titans teamed up against me, I'm dead. But then again, I have been wishing I was dead for ten years, so it shouldn't be much of a deal. _


	5. Rooftop Breeze

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Rooftop Breeze

Beast Boy laid on the rooftop of Titans Tower with his eyes closed and his arms behind his head, enjoying the way the wind ruffled his hair. Suddenly, the scent of tea leaves and incense wafted towards him.

"What do you want, Rae?" Beast Boy asked without moving from his position.

Raven levitated to a spot a few feet away from him and crossed her legs in the lotus position. "What makes you assume that I want to have something to do with _you_?" Raven replied tonelessly.

Beast Boy sat up and rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, you almost never come out this late at night. Well, except maybe for patrol."

Raven remained silent for a while, just watching the city that they protected in the distance.

"Are you…okay?" Raven asked hesitatingly.

Beast Boy looked up, startled by the question. "Whoa, Rae! Keep asking questions like that and I would think you actually _have_ emotions!" Beast Boy joked.

Raven glared at Beast Boy. "I was trying to be nice, but obviously you-"

"You can be nice?" Beast Boy interrupted.

Raven landed on the ground and stood up. "If you don't shut that mouth of yours in the next minute, I'll cut out your tongue and send you to another dimension." Raven snarled. _I probably should have delayed this conversation until tomorrow. I'm still on edge after that stupid paintball fight Robin and Cyborg had. Ugh, too many emotions!_

Beast Boy gulped and nodded.

Raven closed her eyes, chanting her mantra mentally in an effort to calm down. "Your emotions are not in sync with your behavior." Raven said abruptly.

_Whoa, straight to the point, aren't you, Rae_? "Hmm? Whazza?"

Raven sighed, "I felt some anger from you yesterday and sadness and despair a few times this week."

"Ohh, that was because the creators of Mega Monkeys decided to release the New Mega Monkeys Special three weeks late! And then yesterday, I heard they wanted to stop the release completely." Beast Boy said, silently hoping Raven would buy the lie.

Raven didn't look convinced. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, but you wouldn't know because you always have your head in those pieces of paper with a cover."

"They are called books! And they provide you with knowledge and wisdom, something which you distinctly lack!" Raven snapped.

"Yeah, yadda yadda whatever. I think I'm going to see what Cyborg is doing. He did promise me to-eep!" Beast Boy's path to the door was blocked by a wall of dark energy.

"We haven't finished talking." Raven growled.

"Well then, hurry up, will you? I really need to go to the toilet!" Beast Boy said, scrunching his face.

Raven looked like she was two seconds away from annihilating Beast Boy. She was beginning to think she was mistaken in her assumptions. "You are the most irritating person on this planet! I don't even know why I bothered!"

"Yeah, I thought you didn't care about anything." Beast Boy asserted.

Raven shot him a murderous look and disappeared in a swirl of dark energy. Seconds later, all light bulbs in the Tower exploded.

* * *

"Phew! That was close!" Beast Boy breathed. Okay, so maybe irritating and insulting Raven wasn't the brightest idea to escape another 'talk', but hey, he was pretty desperate, wasn't he?

Beast Boy lay back down on the roof and gazed up at the stars in the sky. _It seems so peaceful_, he thought, listening to the gentle waves of the sea hit the rocks below. _I thought coming out here would calm me down, make me more at peace, and prevent those horrible thoughts from entering my mind. Well, I'm sadly mistaken._

_I feel so out of place, even here, when there's nobody around and I'm alone. I feel so alone._ Beast Boy's lip trembled. _When I die, will I be alone?_ It was a terrible thought, to die alone. Would he be forgotten and ignored, even in death? But then again, who would remember the green freak?

Beast Boy blinked back the tears that started to form. _Don't cry_, he scolded himself. _That would make you even more pathetic than you already are. I'm a hero, and heroes don't show weaknesses._

Beast Boy rolled over to his side and shut his eyes tightly. The cool surface of the roof against his cheek calmed him down considerably. Beast Boy liked to sleep on the rooftop at night. The fresh air and open space seemed to make him more at ease. It must have something to do with his animal behavior and instincts.

Beast Boy was starting to drift off to sleep when there was a loud crash from somewhere in the Tower. Beast Boy's eyes snapped open and his ears twitched, listening for sounds of a possible intruder, but found none. He was about to settle back down when he heard some cursing coming from the direction of Raven's room.

"Great. She must still be mad at me. I'm really starting to regret what I did. I guess I got to avoid her and not get on her nerves tomorrow, or rather today." Beast Boy mumbled, glancing at the time on his communicator.

Before Beast Boy could close his eyes and get some well needed rest, he was disturbed yet again by another crash. This time it woke the other Titans, judging from the shuffling of feet he heard. Beast Boy groaned, he wasn't going to get any sleep if this goes on. Beast Boy stood up and made his way to the stairs. At least his room was soundproof and he won't be disturbed by anything or anyone. Though the possibility that he would sleep peacefully and without nightmares is close to none. Well, he'd take what he can get.

Beast Boy finally reached his room, passing by his angry and annoyed teammates on his way. (Apparently, some people do not like being woken up at two in the morning.) He shut his door, drowning out the arguments that were starting to break out.

_Well, this certainly beats sleeping on a cold hard roof_, Beast Boy yawned, curling up in a ball on his mattress.

_Hopefully I won't have any nightmares tonight_, Beast Boy thought sleepily, _though with my luck, I'd probably have them. I only started to have nightmares when I turned green. Huh, yet another curse brought to me by this green disease. Maybe, some day, I will be normal, have normal Caucasian skin and accepted by society._

That was Beast Boy's last train of thought before drifting off to sleep, a frown forming on his face, as his mind mentally prepared for the nightmares that were yet to come.


	6. Confessions

Thank you for reviewing!

By the way, do you know that writing a depressing story can really bring your mood down? I'm working on a new story right now and I went a 'little' overboard in the emotions department. Now I'll only writing sad things like that when I'm not bright and happy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Confessions

Beast Boy stepped out of the bathroom and headed towards the common room, unconsciously scratching his hands with his fingers. The common room doors slid open, announcing his presence to the other Titans.

"Yo, BB! Where did ya go just now?" Cyborg called from the other side of the room.

"Bathroom break." Beast Boy replied, sitting down at the kitchen counter and grabbing the comics section from the newspaper.

"You have been having a lot of the bathroom breaks recently. Are you feeling well?" Starfire inquired, casting Beast Boy a worried look.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Beast Boy said quickly, brushing her off.

Robin, who was sipping his coffee while reading the newspaper, raised an eyebrow at that. Robin paused in what he was doing for a while, contemplating something in his mind.

* * *

"Titans!" Robin said suddenly, directing all attention to him. "Meeting, now!"

The other Titans immediately stopped what they were doing and gathered together at the couch.

"So, what's the big emergency?" Cyborg asked.

"The 'big' emergency is one that has been called to my attention for a few months now. It is green, noisy and is sitting right in front of me." Robin said, pointing at Beast Boy.

"So, are we finally going to eradicate ourselves of this pest?" Raven asked tonelessly, but with a small smirk.

Robin shot Raven a look. "No. Have any of you noticed Beast Boy acting weirdly recently? For example, the way he talks, his behavior and habits. So, have you?"

Cyborg nodded. "Uh, yeah. BB was acting a little different lately, but he said he was pulling a prank on Raven. But he's still acting weirder than normal."

"I too have noticed Friend Beast Boy's odd behavior. I have confronted him about it, but he insists he is 'fine'." Starfire added.

"Beast Boy's just being irritating and annoying as usual." Raven said monotonously.

"Well, three out of four has to count for something, doesn't it?" Robin said, smirking triumphantly.

Beast Boy, meanwhile, was fuming silently. _I knew I shouldn't have trusted him! Stupid spikey-haired tattletale! I will get him for this! I will do much worse than putting pink glitter in his hair gel! I will…I will dye his hair pink, replace all his masks with ugly party masks, pour elephant glue on his bed, tie him upside down by his toes, make Starfire force-feed him Tamaranean food for the rest of his life, pour a bag of red ants down the back of his neck and…and force him to eat Slade's toenails! _

* * *

"So, what is your point here? We all know since day one that there's something wrong with Beast Boy's head." Raven stated.

Robin sighed in frustration, "Raven, can you please take this seriously?"

Raven glared at Robin. "I tried." Raven said slowly, enunciating each word carefully. "I tried to tell him that there's something wrong with his emotions! It's like there is a barrier or wall blocking me from the emotions he's feeling! I tried to tell him that, but he was being an idiot as usual!"

The other Titans were silent as they absorbed this information.

Robin cleared his throat. "Okay, then, now that we have made it clear that something is wrong with Beast Boy, we've got to work on how to fix it."

Beast Boy chose this time to speak up. "Will all of you stop acting like I'm not in the room? I'm sitting right here, you know! I'm in a quanda-I mean, you guys can't 'fix' me, I'm not some kind of machinery that you can fix!"

"I don't think we can fix any problem concerning you." Raven snorted.

Beast Boy sneered in reply.

Cyborg shook his head, "I don't understand, BB, why are you acting like this? I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes, Friend, please tell us what is ailing you! We are your friends, and we can help!" Starfire pleaded.

"As leader of the team, it is my duty to find out whatever is wrong with my teammates and help them." Robin said superiorly, in a not so subtle way to tell Beast Boy he wanted to know what's going on.

"Stop wasting my time and just tell us already! We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Hard way is me using my powers to force the answers out of you." Raven said threateningly, eyes starting to glow white.

"ENOUGH!" Beast Boy's yell startled his teammates and they immediately quieted down and allowed him to speak.

"Enough." Beast Boy repeated in a quieter and more subdued voice. "Look, I know you guys want answers, but I'm not sure I can give them."

Starfire furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "But how can you not? Should you not know the reason for your own problem?"

Cyborg nodded his head and crossed his arms. "Yeah, man! You're lying, aren't you? Oh, you're lying! Don't you-"

"Sssh! Will you guys let me finish?!" Beast Boy hissed. "I will tell you guys some stuff, but I won't tell you everything, because even some things I don't even know the answers to. It's also hard to clari-uh, there are some things that are quite personal, so obviously I won't share it with you."

"Okay then, what are ya waiting for? Come on, spill!" Cyborg commanded.

Beast Boy hesitated, "I…I have low self esteem issues and I guess I'm a little depressed as well, I guess."

Cyborg looked confused, "But you don't behave like you're depressed. You're always smiling, laughing, fooling around and stuff."

Beast Boy smirked slightly. "Well, I'm a good actor. I'm been masking my emotions ever since I was ten. I bet I could even fool the Dark Knight!"

Robin snorted and muttered, "That, I would like to see." However, even Robin had to admit that Beast Boy fooled him.

"But why do I always get happy vibes off you? How can you feel happy and sad at the same time?" Raven asked.

"I was never feeling happy. I don't think I have been feeling true happiness for a few years now. I just well, actually it's kinda hard to explain. The happy emotions you sense from me aren't real. They're just there to keep up my façade. But deep down, I still feel sadness, anger and pain. When I'm with you guys or other people, I push away those feelings and thoughts and create happy ones." Beast Boy said.

Starfire, who was trying to contain her emotions for the past few minutes, suddenly burst out, "Oh, friend! That is truly terrible! We did not know you had these feelings! Please, what have we done to make you feel this way and how can we make you normal again?"

Beast Boy let out a bitter laugh. "I don't think I have ever been normal, Star. And you guys didn't do anything. It was all me. I mean, look at me, I'm green! And people remind of that every day."

"Oh, come on, grass stain, we don't-"

Beast Boy cut in. "There, see? You call me grass stain. You're implying that I'm as insignificant as grass and is just a stain that can be overlooked and ignored by anyone."

The Titans didn't know whether to feel guilt they've ever made Beast Boy feel this way or be impressed that Beast Boy knew the words 'imply' and 'insignificant'.

"No man, that's not what I meant!" Cyborg protested.

_Yes, you did. You're lying. I heard your heart beat speed up. That's how you feel about me, subconsciously._ Beast Boy thought.

Cyborg seemed to realize this a moment later and quickly put down his head in shame. _I'm sorry, man. I should have known. All those times Raven and I made those jibes at you…_

* * *

Meanwhile, the other Titans were thinking about the times they put Beast Boy down or insulted him.

Robin clenched his fists. _I always told Beast Boy that he isn't good enough and he needs to train harder. Did my words affect him? At least I didn't point out the fact that he is green, or did I? I hope I didn't. _

_I've always insulted Beast Boy, more than the others. I thought he didn't care about the insults as it always gave him motivation to annoy me more. I didn't know it was a defensive mechanism. Like what happened on the roof the other night._ Raven thought.

Starfire's eyes brimmed with unshed tears, her eyes conveying everything that she felt. _Oh, I have never felt more shame in my life! I am a horrible person! I have called Beast Boy a 'clorbag valblernelk' when he pulled the prank on me. I refused to listen to his apologies when he asked for forgiveness. And I did not believe Friend Beast Boy when he said he did not attack Raven when he transformed into the 'Beast'! I have also called Beast Boy the 'immature'! Not even reciting all three thousand verses of the poems of Penitence could convey my sorrow and guilt to Beast Boy for treating him as such. _

Beast Boy avoided the burning stares of his teammates. He felt awkward and uncomfortable. He suddenly felt constricted and claustrophobic. Just as Beast Boy was about to make an excuse to leave, he heard Robin ask quietly, "What happened to your hands?"

Beast Boy froze. _My hands-? I…_ Beast Boy flexed his fingers, finding nothing wrong. Then he suddenly felt like slapping his face. _I'm so stupid!_ Beast Boy had forgotten to put his gloves back on after washing his hands earlier. Due to Beast Boy's daily, or rather, hourly scrubbing, his hands have acquired scars.

Starfire floated over to Beast Boy, picked up his hands gently and examined them. "Friend, why do your hands look as if they went through a morklorg?"

Beast Boy scratched his head. "Uhh, I'm pretty sure my hands didn't go through a 'lork' thing. I just got into a little accident the other day. The fan stopped working the other day, so I tried to spin the blad-uh, thingy and then the thing suddenly worked, and heh, you know…"

"And you didn't bother to turn off the switch first?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

Beast Boy shrugged. "Well, anyways, it's been nice talking to you and everything, but I think there's a new video game waiting for me at the Games Store. So, see you dudes around!"

Before anyone could stop him, Beast Boy dashed out of the common room and out of Titans Tower, to try to find a quiet and isolated place so that he can freak out at what he told the Titans.


	7. A Glimpse Behind The Mask

I really appreciate the reviews, guys, thanks!

**Note: **In this chapter, Beast Boy is not freaking out for telling the Titans already. Well, actually, he still is, but he is shielding his emotions again. He is pushing everything behind his mask because he cannot deal with it right now.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

A Glimpse behind the Mask

All of the Titans, save for Beast Boy, were in the common room eating breakfast.

"Where's Beast Boy?" Robin asked suddenly.

"Friend Beast Boy is in town doing the 'chilling out'." Starfire answered, digging into her Tamaranean pudding half-heartedly.

Cyborg, who was cutting up his meat with a fork and knife, suddenly put his utensils down with a heavy sigh.

"Why didn't we notice something earlier? I mean, it was so obvious! Some friend I am." Cyborg said gloomily.

The other Titans exchanged glances. They didn't really know what to say, as the same thing had been running through their minds since yesterday.

Starfire tried to cheer her friend up. "You could not have known, Friend. We did not know that-"

Cyborg slammed his fist on the table. "That's not good enough! We didn't know, so what? We should have been there for him! We shouldn't have treated him like that! We shouldn't have made him feel like…"

"…like he doesn't belong." Robin finished.

Cyborg nodded. "Exactly! He…Beast Boy is-we never fully appreciated what he contributes to the team. Where would we be without Beast Boy?"

"I don't know, maybe a lot more peaceful?" Raven said sarcastically. She paused, then continued quietly, "The Tower probably won't be so lively. And there won't be anyone to annoy me when I'm reading or meditating."

"Yeah, who would mess up my baby without BB around? And there would be no more Meat and Tofu fights!" Cyborg exclaimed.

"Hey, by the way, did you guys notice that Beast Boy's speech sounded different yesterday?" Robin asked.

Upon receiving looks if confusion from his teammates, Robin sighed. "He didn't make any grammar or spelling mistakes. He also didn't use the word 'dude'. Actually, now that I think about it, he don't say 'dude' as often as he used to anymore."

Raven frowned in thought. "I think I remember Beast Boy stumbling on a few words yesterday. And if…, wait, so Beast Boy is actually smarter than he looks? Whoa, I never thought I'll see the day when I admit Beast Boy is smart."

"Beast Boy is an extremely intelligent human. Friends, do you not remember that it was Friend Beast Boy that led to the defeat of the Brotherhood of Evil?" Starfire questioned.

"Yeah. If it wasn't for Beast Boy, all of us would be on ice now." Robin stated.

"But that was not the only time Friend Beast Boy have shown that he is a very important member of team." Starfire said.

"But he's always…it's like he's pretending to be stupid or goofy or something." Cyborg said in frustration.

Robin's eyes widened. "You're right! He _is_ pretending to be stupid, silly and goofy! But, the question is…why?"

A quiet voice behind the Titans spoke, "Sometimes it's better to be thought a fool than to be thought otherwise."

The Titans jumped at the voice. "Beast Boy!"

"When did you come in?! We didn't hear you!" Robin exclaimed, though what he really meant was 'I didn't hear you'. Robin's feathers were ruffled that someone managed to sneak up on him.

Beast Boy flashed Robin an amused grin. "I was standing behind you guys for quite a while. Interesting conversation you guys were having, by the way. I was just going to get a drink. So, carry on."

Cyborg coughed, having recovered from his shock. "Man, BB, you gave me quite a fright! And what was that you were saying just now?"

Beast Boy's head emerged from the fridge, holding a jug of cold water in his hand. "Hmm? Oh, that. Well, it's a modified version of the famous quote by Abraham Lincoln. And it's-why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"You know who's Abraham Lincoln?!" Raven asked, well, more like shouted.

Beast Boy looked offended. "Of course I do! Dudes, don't tell me you think I was _that _stupid?" He joked.

The rest of the Titans, except for Starfire, averted their gazes.

"Friends, who is this Abraham of Lincoln?" Starfire inquired, looking quite puzzled.

"He's the 16th President of the United States." Beast Boy answered promptly.

"I didn't know he was the 16th. I just knew that he was a President. I never really cared much for history." Robin said.

Beast Boy snorted, "And you say you're trained by the Bat? When I was with the Doom Patrol, Mento forced me to learn all this stuff!"

* * *

"So, what was this quote about?" Cyborg asked, looking interested. If this quote caught Beast Boy's attention, it must've been very meaningful to him.

Beast Boy poured himself a glass of water and took a sip. "Okay, I didn't really know which year he said the quote. I think it was 1930 or 1931 or something like that. Mento gave me a book full of quotes and he made me memorize them. He said it'll be useful if we ever came across a villain that uses quotes or something. Not that we ever did, mind you. I think that Mento was just finding an excuse to get rid of me. I mean, I was kinda annoying him a lot that day. And-"

"Will you tell us this damn quote already?!" snarled an irate Raven.

Beast Boy put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! Jeez! The quote goes like this, 'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt'."

"Why is that quote so special to you?" Cyborg asked quizzically.

"Some people don't get the quote. I mean, they understand it, but they can't really relate to it. Before joining the Doom Patrol, I was kind of a quiet kid. I didn't talk unless spoken to, and even sometimes I don't answer. So people always thought that I was stupid or something." Beast Boy replied, placing the jug back into the fridge.

"You are not the stupid! The other people are the stupid for thinking that you are the stupid!" Starfire growled, eyes flashing angrily.

"Why did you do that? Why lower yourself, degrade yourself?" Raven questioned.

Beast Boy struggled with his words. "It's-I'm…it's a defense mechanism. I can't show people who I really am, inside. Of course later, the quiet act didn't really work for me anymore, so I changed. When I became Beast Boy, I shaped my own personality. Beast Boy's personality. I changed myself to be what people want."

Robin looked up and fixed Beast Boy with a hard stare. "If that is the case…then, who are you, really? The real you? I think we've all seen glimpses of the real you from time to time, but we still have no clue who you really are."

Starfire nodded vigorously. "Yes, friend! Let us see behind your mask!"

Beast Boy staggered back. "No! I mean, I can't."

Cyborg crossed his arms. "And why not? You've been fooling us with this 'Beast Boy' act for years! And we're your friends! I think we deserve to know, man!"

Beast Boy shook his head. "What is there to see behind my 'mask'? Nothing. I've been Beast Boy for so long now that I don't there's anything left if I stop being Beast Boy. I used to fool myself that my older self is still there. That if I ever need to stop being Beast Boy, ever need to stop being a hero, I can still be Gar-um, the old me. But you know what? I can't. Because he's dead. The old me is dead. Or maybe, he just never existed."

"You make it sound as though you have split personalities." Raven commented.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "I wish. Then at least I will have something to blame it on."

* * *

His teammates did not bother to push the topic any further. Somehow, hearing Beast Boy's explanation made them feel even guiltier that they did not notice earlier.

"Hey, guys, how about we go hang out at the park or something?" Cyborg suggested.

"That's a great idea, Cyborg! We can even have a picnic at the park. We haven't had one in ages!" Robin said quickly, eager to divert the subject.

"Oh, yes! I shall do the fetching of the ball of foot! Friend Raven! You must come assist!" Starfire exclaimed excitedly, grabbing a protesting Raven by the arm and zooming out of the room.

Cyborg jumped up and ran to the kitchen. "I'll get the food and the meat! Hey, Rob, chicken, beef or mutton?"

Robin wrinkled his nose and followed Cyborg. "I hate beef and mutton."

"That's because you are a chicken, or related to a chicken anyway. But I bet robins don't have much meat. They're all bony and feathery. Hey, by the way, what happened to your feathers?"

"I…what are you…wait, what?! Are you saying that I'm a…?!" Robin shouted, grabbing a frying pan and proceeding to hit Cyborg on the head with it.

Cyborg laughed in response and chucked a fork in Robin's direction.

* * *

Beast Boy smiled softly, watching his teammates. Then he sighed and glanced at his reflection in his glass of water. Beast Boy quietly got up and walked out of the room, his teammates oblivious to his departure.


	8. The Oath of a Friend

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

The Oath of a Friend

Cyborg entered the common room, whistling a merry tune. He stopped short when he noticed his leader rubbing his forehead tiredly, papers surrounding him.

"Yo, Rob! What's up? Wha'cha doin'?" Cyborg asked, joining Robin at the table.

"I'm trying to find a psychiatrist for Beast Boy." Robin replied, sorting through the papers.

"Oh, okay. Wait, what?" Cyborg stared at Robin in shock. "You're going to find some shrink to psychoanalyze BB? What are you thinking, man?!"

Robin looked irritated. "I already had this conversation with Beast Boy and-"

Cyborg interrupted, "Whoa, whoa! You told BB that you're going to dump him in some shrink's office?!"

"Yeah, something like that."

"And he was okay with it?!" Cyborg shouted.

Robin shook his head. "No, not exactly. He kinda blew up at me. And he was using 'big' words during his rant. Really 'big' words. I didn't even know most of the words he spewed out at me."

"I can't believe you, man, I really can't. Seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever is the last thing Beast Boy needs right now." Cyborg said, pacing with his hands behind his back.

Robin narrowed his eyes. "Well then, what do you want me to do? Are you going to just let Beast Boy continue the rest of his life like this?"

Cyborg did not answer, and instead opted to shoot a glare at Robin.

"Where's Beast Boy?" Cyborg asked, not wanting to continue the conversation any longer.

"He's in his room, but I wouldn't advice going in there at the moment." Robin answered.

Cyborg scoffed. "Yeah, like I'm going to take advice from _you_."

Robin turned his attention back to his papers. "He barricaded his room and I'm pretty sure even if you managed to get into the room, he'll throw you right back out."

"Still not listening to you." Cyborg said loudly, plugging his ears and walking out of the common room.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Robin mumbled.

* * *

Cyborg knocked on Beast Boy's door for the fourth time still with no answer.

"Come on, BB! I know you're in there! Open up, it's me!" Cyborg called.

Cyborg groaned. "Okay, fine! Don't open that door! I'll just break it down myself! You got three seconds to open that door! No? Alright then, one, two, three!"

Cyborg took a few steps back and charged at the door, only to be met with a force pushing against him behind the door. Cyborg stared at the door, confused, before trying again. It only took seven more tries before Cyborg gave up and leaned against the opposite wall, exhausted and frustrated.

"Drastic times calls for drastic measures." Cyborg muttered, charging his sonic cannon and breaking the 'no blasting or exploding doors' rule.

Cyborg fired his sonic cannon and let out a triumphant 'Booyah!' when he succeeded in blasting the door down.

Cyborg ran into the room and said, "Hey, BB, did you-ack!"

A tissue box hit Cyborg's face. "Yo, BB! What was that fo-hey! Stop that!"

Random objects came flying in his direction and Cyborg was only lucky enough to dodge about ten percent of the items.

"Beast Boy, if you don't stop now, I'm going to put meat in your tofu for a week." Cyborg threatened, catching a clock from hitting his head.

Beast Boy glared at him, a big and heavy dictionary in his hand. "Get. Out." Beast Boy hissed.

"Nuh uh, not gonna happen. I know that Robin telling you to see a shrink pissed you out and I also know that-don't you dare throw that dictionary at me!" Cyborg yelped.

The dictionary collided with Cyborg's face anyway, causing him to fall to the ground. "Ow." Cyborg rubbed his face, internally grateful for being half-robot, because if he was human, he was sure his face would be a pancake.

* * *

Cyborg quickly recovered from the 'dictionary attack' and looked up, ready for the next object to be thrown at his head. To his surprise, Beast Boy was no longer standing in front of him. He looked around and finally spotted Beast Boy perched on his upper bunk bed. He also seemed to have calmed down considerably.

"So, dude, what brings you to my room?" Beast Boy asked with a cheerful grin.

Cyborg stared at Beast Boy in disbelief. "Has anyone told you that you're bipolar?"

Beast Boy shrugged in response. _Only about a thousand times._

Cyborg pushed himself up from the floor. Maybe this is Beast Boy's way of coping. _Man, why didn't I notice it before?_ "I spoke with Robin and he told me he wanted you to see a psychiatrist." Cyborg said, deciding to get straight to the point.

Beast Boy frowned. "Yeah. So are you siding with Robin and going to convince me to see some wacko doctor or what?"

"No, man! I'm totally with you on this one. I mean, there's nothing wrong with you, so why should you see a doctor, right?"

Beast Boy nodded, though he still looked unconvinced that Cyborg wouldn't make him see a doctor as well.

* * *

"Did you really have to break my door down like that?" Beast Boy asked, gesturing to the door and changing the subject.

"Well, how was I supposed to get in? And why did it take me so long to get in?!"

"My door is made of Tamaranean steel. Starfire told me this side of the Gordanian ship is used to hold prisoners. That's why my room is soundproof, same like Starfire's." Beast Boy said.

"I built the Tower and I only know about this now?!" Cyborg exclaimed.

Beast Boy grinned in response, then suddenly frowned and traces of his previous anger resurfaced, "Yeah, so do you mind getting out of my room now?"

_Definitely bipolar_, Cyborg thought. "No, man, I came here to drag you out of your stinkin' room, so I'm not leaving till you do."

Beast Boy gave a long suffering sigh, knowing he couldn't kick Cyborg out of his room like he did the others. Besides, Cyborg is half-metal. He'll be lucky if he can even push Cyborg over.

"Fine. But we're not going to the common room. The spikey haired know-it-all is still there." Beast Boy said, jumping down from his bed.

"Then how about we go find the girls and play some volleyball on the roof?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "Raven doesn't play, and whichever team Starfire is on will surely win."

"Then we'll team up and go against Starfire! I may not be as strong as a Tamaranean powerhouse, but with you by my side, I'm sure we'll be able to beat her! And Raven can referee." Cyborg said cheerfully, swinging an arm around Beast Boy's shoulders and leading him out of his room.

"Yeah, whatever." Beast Boy muttered, before catching himself. "I mean, yeah, dude! Let's go!"

Beast Boy ran down the corridor. Cyborg paused before following him. Cyborg caught the slip Beast Boy made. Cyborg was thinking of convincing Raven and Starfire to side with him and Beast Boy against Robin making BB see a psychiatrist. Beast Boy sure was good at hiding his emotions, because if he didn't witness Beast Boy's earlier behavior, he wouldn't even have known Beast Boy was upset by what Robin said.

* * *

Cyborg smiled as Beast Boy turned into various creatures, trying to amuse himself and Cyborg. Beast Boy stopped after a while and chatted loudly with his friend. It almost seemed like old times. Like the confession two days ago had never happened. No wonder he had never noticed Beast Boy was only pretending. Beast Boy's mask was so perfect that it seemed to be a part of him. No one could tell that Beast Boy antics and feelings were fake.

Cyborg resolved to do everything he could to help Beast Boy. It was the least he could do after everything Beast Boy had done for him. Beast Boy had given him friendship, helped him regain his happiness and made him feel accepted and not a monster. He knew he would always be indebted to Beast Boy, because nothing, _nothing_ can repay all these things.

Beast Boy is a great friend and teammate. He's a wonderful person, yet he doesn't realize it. True, he does brag a lot and others may think that his ego is bigger than his head, but he's only doing that to hide how insecure he really is.

_I really hope we can help you, BB. No, I promise, we _will _help you. We'll get you out of this mess. Because I really, _really _want to know the real you. I don't want you to feel that you need to hide from us. I wish that you can trust us enough for you to show us who you really are._ Cyborg thought dismally.

Beast Boy was his best friend, and Cyborg would help him rather he liked it or not, because that's what best friends do.


	9. Titan Plans

Thank you for your reviews, reviewers! Only a few more chapters to go!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Titan Plans

Robin, Raven, Starfire and Cyborg were huddled in the evidence room, discussing something in hushed whispers.

"Are you sure he won't come in here?" Robin demanded.

"Absolutely. This is the only room in the Tower that Beast Boy never goes into. Not sure why, but I think it has to do with that creepy mask." Cyborg said, glancing at Slade's mask and shuddering slightly.

Robin nodded. "Right. So, anyway, I already have an idea. Come on, Titans, we should go-"

"We? Maybe you should discuss any plans you have with the team before executing them." Raven growled.

"I already said I was sorry." Robin said, though he looked rather ashamed of himself.

Cyborg scoffed. "No, we _forced_ you to say sorry."

* * *

Their minds flashed back to what happened two weeks ago. Robin had made an appointment with a psychiatrist for Beast Boy without telling him. Beast Boy was livid. He had thrashed the living room and the kitchen in his anger. Beast Boy had only gone to see the psychiatrist due to the threat of being kicked out of the team. Robin gave Beast Boy a modified version of Cyborg's holorings and made him go under the guise of Mark Keith.

The session with the psychiatrist didn't go well. Beast Boy did not talk at all and just stared blankly at a spot on the wall. When the psychiatrist asked him questions about his friends, family and life in general, Beast Boy only responded by shaking or nodding his head. When Robin arrived to pick him up, Beast Boy 'accidentally' tripped Robin down the stairs, which led to Robin spraining his ankle. When they got back to Titans Tower, Beast Boy immediately went to his room and slammed the door so hard, that it nearly shook the whole Tower.

Robin didn't notice at first, as he was still cursing Beast Boy for his sprained ankle, but Beast Boy did not speak a word to him since Robin sent him to see the doctor. After a day or two, Robin noticed that Beast Boy was ignoring him and acted as if Robin was not in the room. Even when they went out on patrol, Beast Boy made sure that he was close enough to the other Titans should he need help. The only time Beast Boy said something was when he stepped on Robin's foot, _hard_, and sneered, "Oops, sorry. Didn't see you there." Robin was about to open his mouth and bark a retort, but he yelped when Beast Boy stepped on his other foot and said, "Oh, look, I missed. I thought I saw an ant." Beast Boy then made a scoffing sound and walked off.

* * *

Meanwhile, the other Titans were just as angry with Robin as Beast Boy was with him. Robin had told Beast Boy that they were also in on the plan to bring Beast Boy to see the doctor. Cyborg was infuriated as he thought Beast Boy would think he was betraying him. Raven was indifferent, and Starfire was fine with it, at first. When she found out that Robin had sent Beast Boy to a 'Mental Institute', she flew into a rage and left Robin with more bruises than he could count. Robin had tried to defend himself by saying that the psychiatrists there were better and more experienced, but that still didn't save him from the others' wrath. Right then, he couldn't decide if Raven or Starfire was scarier when they were angry.

After a tense week, the other Titans had more or less quelled their rage at Robin. There were still displeased with his behavior and how he handled the situation, but at least they didn't feel as though they wanted to explode whenever they saw Robin. They had also managed to save their friendship with Beast Boy. Cyborg had quickly cleared up the misunderstanding after he heard what Robin told Beast Boy. Fortunately, Beast Boy believed him and only directed his anger at Robin.

Later, Raven, Cyborg and Starfire confronted Robin and tried to make him apologize to Beast Boy. Robin refused, he was still mad at Beast Boy's latest 'Get Back at Robin for Forcing Me to See a Shrink' prank. (He put elephant glue in my shampoo! My shampoo! I had to cut my hair just to get the glue out! Did you hear me? I had to CUT. MY. HAIR! He should apologize to me, not the other way round!)

However, in the end, Raven managed to convince Robin to apologize. Inter-dimensional demons can be _very_ persuasive. Beast Boy accepted the apology, albeit reluctantly and warned Robin of the paint bucket behind the door of the evidence room before walking off. Conversations with those two were still awkward, with Robin still suspicious and wary of more pranks and Beast Boy still avoiding eye contact.

* * *

"Well, Raven, Starfire and I decided we should do things to make Beast Boy happy. Raven will monitor his emotions and tell us if he is really feeling happy or if he is just acting." Cyborg said, taking out a few pieces of paper from under the table and showing the others the lists of things they could do.

Robin frowned, "Okaay, but what is the purpose of this? It's pointless! What we should do is try to fix Beast Boy. If we make a few adjustments-"

"He's not a machine, Robin! I thought Beast Boy already made that clear! You make it sound like he's having a system crash, and no, don't nod your head, he's not having one!" Cyborg growled.

"Friend Cyborg and _Robin_, let us focus on doing the cheering up of Friend Beast Boy." Starfire interrupted, purposely not calling Robin 'Friend', which caused him to wince.

"So after we cheer him up, then what?" Robin asked, still looking skeptical of this plan.

"Then we find out what makes him upset." Cyborg replied.

"What?! This is ridiculous! I bet next thing you're going to tell me is finding out what makes him angry, scared and bored?!" Robin shouted.

The other Titans quickly shushed him and glanced at the door nervously. After a minute passed and Beast Boy still hadn't come to check out the shouting, the Titans breathed a sigh of relief and turned their attention back to the conversation.

* * *

"We are trying to find out how his emotions work. I'm still trying to figure out how his mind works, but I need him distracted in order to do so." Raven stated.

"And if that doesn't work?" Robin asked.

"We assure Beast Boy that he is wanted and needed on this team. It certainly didn't help that you threatened to kick him out." Raven said, shooting Robin a glare.

"Friends, I believe I have the idea. I have done the noticing that Friend Beast Boy likes to be around people. Perhaps we should bring Friend Beast Boy to places where there are more of the people, like the club?" Starfire suggested.

Cyborg nodded. "Yeah, BB does seem to like to be surrounded by people. Hey, what about we invite the Titans East over or something? BB may like to be around people, but I'm sure he'll like to be around friends more!"

"That is a most brilliant of ideas, Friend Cyborg!" Starfire exclaimed.

"It's not a bad idea." Raven allowed.

"But the Titans East will be busy with Steel City. And we have Jump to protect." Robin protested.

Cyborg rolled his eyes. "We don't have to invite all of them over at once. We can just call Bee and Aqualad one day and Speedy and Mas y Menos another day. We could also call the Honorary Titans over. Beast Boy seems to get along very well with Kid Flash and Herald."

Robin still looked against the idea of other heroes invading their Tower. "But…"

"Chill, Rob. You don't even have to be there when they come over. You can just brood in your room all you like." Cyborg said, patting Robin's shoulder.

"Fine." Robin relented. "But I want the Tower to still be standing when they leave. And Cyborg, you'll have to refill the refrigerator after Kid Flash raids it."

"You got it, man! Come on, girls, Operation Cheering up Beast Boy is in motion!" Cyborg exclaimed, jumping up and running out of the room.

Raven gathered the papers with their plans together with her powers and followed Cyborg. Starfire looked about to do the same, but she paused and turned back to look at Robin.

"Robin, are you not going to help?" Starfire questioned, giving Robin a reproachful look.

Robin sighed, "I tried to help, and look what happened last time."

Starfire narrowed her eyes. "So you are just going to do the giving up?"

"No! I mean, yeah, well…"

Starfire walked over to Robin. "Beast Boy is your friend. You have tried to help Beast Boy, but you do not want to do it yourself, as you are afraid you might not do it right, so you have made him see the doctor. If you are truly Beast Boy's friend, you will help him without the help of others. Even if you do the failing, you have done the trying, and I'm sure Friend Beast Boy will do the appreciating of it."

"I don't know…" Robin said weakly.

"Just do the imagining that it is a battle, you always try to succeed in a battle, yes?" Starfire gave Robin a small smile before floating out of the evidence room, door shutting behind her.

"Try to succeed, huh? I really don't know how to help people in this kind of situation. It's not the people injured and I have to save them kind of thing. Well, I guess I just have to see how the others' plan works." Robin said grimly.


	10. Contradictions

Thank you for reviewing! (Masterliful: Your observation is spot on!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Contradictions

Beast Boy sat at the rocks by the Tower. He leaned back, arms supporting his sides and sighed happily. These past few days have been…nice. This is surprising as he hasn't had a nice day in years.

Titan East had dropped by to visit the other day. Starfire had immediately dragged Bumblebee and Raven to have another one of her 'girl talks'. Cyborg and the Spanish twins started playing games on the console, all of them shouting and yelling, struggling to win the game. Robin and Speedy began comparing their weapons and gadgets. It soon turned into a competition of who had the better mentor, better team, better girlfriend and better hair.

Beast Boy and Aqualad were conversing about the Titans and random stuff when Aqualad said that he wanted to take a dip in the sea and asked if Beast Boy wanted to tag along. Beast Boy immediately accepted and the two of them had a great time swimming. They emerged from the sea a few hours later with big smiles on their faces. Beast Boy felt refreshed and rejuvenated and he felt even better that he had a good time with a friend.

A few days later, some of the Honorary Titans came to help during a battle with Killer Moth and Johnny Rancid. They later went out to have pizza together, where Cyborg and Kid Flash had an eating contest, which of course, Kid Flash won. They made jokes and had fun. And Beast Boy laughed. He really laughed. It wasn't a fake laugh. It was real and the bubbly feeling he felt in his stomach felt…good.

* * *

Beast Boy smiled, he almost didn't think a single depressing thought today. He'd also stopped torturing his scar-ridden hands with intense scrubbing. Cyborg and Robin had replaced the soap in the bathroom for some other soap brand that gave off a very strong scent. Beast Boy soon found out that he was allergic to that soap. Apparently, the scent that the soap exhibited was too strong for his animal senses. So now he was forced to wash his hands quickly and less frequently. Beast Boy encountered difficulty adjusting to this new arrangement at first, but he eventually got used to it. Now he's washing his hands almost like any normal person. Beast Boy also hadn't notice his green skin in days. He couldn't even remember the last time he looked in the mirror.

For the first time in many years, he felt normal. It was a weird feeling, to feel normal. Because he was the only person on Earth that was green, and yet now, he felt that he belonged, like he was one of the billions of people on this planet. This thought scared him a little, just a little, but mostly he felt happy. He never thought he'll feel like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This feeling was so foreign, yet so natural. It sounded so ludicrous, because Beast Boy wasn't the type of person to feel this way. If there was one thing he always kept constant in all his masks, he never had contrasting feelings or thoughts. It just didn't make sense to him.

The lights in Titans Tower suddenly dimmed, signaling the other Titans heading to bed. Beast Boy yawned, all of a sudden, he felt sleepy. That was strange; he usually had to tire himself out for a few more hours before he could sleep. Beast Boy scratched his cheek. He was beginning to wonder if maybe Beast Boy was more than just a mask. Maybe it was who he was, inside. He never thought about this before, but maybe Garfield Logan was also a mask. It sounded absurd, but how long had he been Garfield Logan, and how long had he been Beast Boy? When he became Beast Boy, it felt so much easier, and yet so much harder. There it was again, another contradicting thought. Was his life full of contradictions? He felt happy being Beast Boy and yet he felt sad. Sometimes, he felt like he wanted to go back to the Doom Patrol, but at the same time he didn't.

Beast Boy hated contradictions, because it made him fearful. He might make the wrong decisions at the wrong time, like he did so many times in the past. The perfect example was his parents' deaths. He had a choice, save them or save himself. He chose the latter, a decision which made him regret for the rest of his life. The problem with contradictions is that you never know the outcome. And this made Beast Boy feel vulnerable, as he wasn't in control of the situation.

Beast Boy stood up, hands in his pockets and kicked a small rock into the sea. Beast Boy didn't feel as happy as he did when he came down here anymore. Whenever his mind wanders, other thoughts will invade his mind. Beast Boy wishes there was a way to clear his mind, or blank it for just a few hours. Even an hour would be good enough. Beast Boy made his way back into the Tower, grumbling under his breath about stupid thoughts and why humans even had to think. Can't humans be unaware of their thoughts like some animals? Humans really are the most complicated creatures on Earth.

* * *

Robin tapped his pen on the paper, looking quite irritated as he tried to focus on his work and ignore the voices of his teammates. He flinched when he heard a squeal from Starfire, or maybe it was Cyborg. Robin was about to grab a pencil when it was suddenly encased with black energy and floated out of his reach. Robin grinded his teeth. This was the fourth time this happened in the past thirty minutes.

Robin turned around in his chair and said, "Raven, I already told you, if you want to 'borrow' something, you ask! You don't make the stuff I'm about to use fly away!"

Raven gave him an innocent look. "But, Robin, I thought you specifically ordered us not to bother you unless the world is ending or you're dying."

Robin glared at her, but did not answer, and instead opted to return to his work, now putting a protective arm over all his materials.

A few minutes passed and Robin still hadn't managed to find any evidence on the latest case. Robin glared at the offending sheet of paper, though he knew why he couldn't concentrate. Suddenly there was a loud thud from behind him and he heard laughter following it.

Robin stood up with a sigh and turned to face the other Titans. "Will you guys at least be quiet while you're in here? I'm trying to work, you know. And why do you have to do your…whatever it is you're doing in my room?"

"Beast Boy probably wouldn't come to your room. Less chance of him accidentally finding out about our plans." Cyborg said.

"You can go to your rooms, or just go to the evidence room like we did the other day." Robin pointed out.

"Yeah. We could…but Raven doesn't let anyone into her room, well except Starfire, for their 'girl talks'. Mine and Starfire's rooms are too near Beast Boy's room, and he has super hearing, so even with the doors closed, he'll hear our conversation. As for the evidence room, Starfire says the Slade mask in there is creepy at night. I would use the basement, but I'm still trying to fix the pipes, so the place's a mess." Cyborg replied.

"Oh. Okay."

"Friend Robin, do you not want to help us help Friend Beast Boy?" Starfire queried.

Robin looked uncomfortable. "Uhh…"

The others waited a moment for his response. When it became clear that he wasn't going to answer, they heaved a disappointed sigh and returned to their planning. Robin glanced down at his work and figured he wouldn't be getting much any work done with so many thoughts clouding his mind. He exited the room, muttering an excuse to his teammates as he passed.

* * *

In the common room, Robin stood next to the window, staring at the city lights glimmering in the distance. The reason he didn't want to help Beast Boy was because he was afraid he'd mess up again. He'd thought about it long and hard after the talk with Starfire and realized she was right. Then he thought about what he did. He had sent Beast Boy to a Mental Institute. The sentence was ringing in head for a few minutes before he thought, 'What was I thinking?!' Granted, he hadn't made Beast Boy stay there for a few days like the other patients (the other Titans will probably kill him if he did), but sending Beast Boy there was like labeling him as 'not normal' and 'crazy'.

Robin was paranoid. That was what made him send Beast Boy to a Mental Institute in the first place. He was worried that other psychiatrists in the city would not be good enough or would not know how to deal with a super powered teen. Then he took into account the costs of the appointment and petrol. He also considered how much time it will take and what will happen if the alarm sounded during the session. Would the rest of the team be able to handle the trouble? What if they couldn't? How long would it take Beast Boy to get from the psychiatrist's clinic to the battle location? All of this led to Robin deciding that the Mental Institute was nearer, cheaper and safer for Beast Boy. And there was also a bonus of the psychiatrists there being more experienced and proficient.

_I apologized, so it doesn't really matter, right?_ Robin thought, though he knew that wasn't true. Beast Boy and Robin may have been on talking terms now, but Beast Boy was still a little resentful of him. Whenever the Titans made an offhanded comment that contained words like 'crazy', 'nutcase' or 'loony bin', Beast Boy would throw a glare in Robin's direction.

Robin found it hard to admit that he made a mistake. Sure, he had said 'sorry', but that was completely different than saying 'I was wrong'. The word 'sorry' didn't really have a meaning, because someone could say 'sorry' and not even mean it. 'Sorry' was just something to delude people into thinking everything was fine when it really wasn't. The word 'sorry' was only a stepping stone, the first step to apologizing. Robin was never good with words. Even saying 'sorry' was hard for him. He knew he had to fix his friendship with Beast Boy.

Robin jogged back to his room and slammed the door open. His teammates' heads snapped up, eyes wide in shock and surprise.

"Hey, guys. Don't you think your plans would work better if the leader helped?"

The other Titans smiled in approval as Robin took his seat on the floor next to Cyborg and Starfire. Well, actions always speak louder than words. And if Robin can't find the words to say what he really mean, then taking action to help Beast Boy regain his happiness seemed to be the only alternative.


	11. Tranquility

A few more chapters and we'll be saying bye bye, end of story! I know the three previous chapters were a bit slow, so I'm upping the pace a bit, then slow down on the last three chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Tranquility

Beast Boy yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He buried his head in his arms on the kitchen counter and groaned. Beast Boy looked and felt horrible. He couldn't sleep yesterday night. He was tossing and turning in his bed for most of the night, and when he did manage to fall asleep, he had a nightmare. He had woken up screaming and couldn't go back to sleep later.

Beast Boy felt a presence next to him. "What's up with you?"

Beast Boy looked up, blinking his eyes blearily. Raven was standing there with a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow.

"Couldn't sleep." Beast Boy mumbled, pulling his hair and groaning again.

Raven made a 'hmm' sound and shuffled something behind him. Beast Boy wished she'd go away. He really didn't want to deal with any of the Titans now.

"Have you tried meditating?" Raven asked.

_Great. She's still there._ "Do I look like a person to meditate when he can't fall asleep?!" Beast Boy snapped. Then he sighed, "Sorry, Rae. I'm usually moody after a nightmare."

Raven looked surprised. "You had a nightmare?"

"Isn't that what I just said?!" came Beast Boy's irritated reply, too tired to fathom what he was saying.

Raven hovered there for a moment, then she said, "Come on, I'll show you."

Raven used her powers and tried to tug Beast Boy away from the counter, but he resisted. Beast Boy made a shooing sound and threw a pepper bottle in Raven's direction. Raven shot an unimpressed look at Beast Boy as the pepper bottle landed a meter away from her.

* * *

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Raven chanted, lifting Beast Boy up with her powers and throwing him onto the living room's couch.

Beast Boy grumbled angrily under his breath as he was restrained to the couch by Raven's dark energy. Raven levitated in front of him, crossing her legs in midair.

Raven rolled her eyes when she caught the venomous glare that Beast Boy shot at her. "Stop looking at me like that, I'm trying to help you."

Beast Boy scoffed. "Help? Unless you can _magically_ make me fall asleep without annoying nightmares, you can't help me."

"If you don't drop the attitude, I'll throw you out the window." Raven warned. When Beast Boy's demeanor didn't change, she continued, "Do you want to take a swim in the sea in the middle of winter?"

Beast Boy gave her a resigned look and gestured for her to talk.

Raven seemed to be satisfied with his response. "When I can't sleep, I always find meditating helps."

"And how can it help?" Beast Boy asked, looking skeptical.

"Meditating helps to clear and calm your mind and get rid of distracting thoughts." Raven replied.

Beast Boy perked up at that, seeming to blink his sleepiness away. "Really? Can you teach me?"

"Sure. First you have to sit in a comfortable position."

Beast Boy leaned back and sank into the pillows on the couch.

Raven looked irritated. "Not _that _comfortable. Just sit straight. You don't even have to cross your legs like I do. If you are too comfortable you'll lose your focus."

Beast Boy sat up immediately, back ramrod straight.

Raven nodded in approval. "Good. Now close your eyes and focus."

Beast Boy shut his eyes, only to snap them open a moment later. "Focus on what?"

"Ssh! Don't talk. Just close your eyes and think of nothing. Nothingness. Let the darkness swallow you and carry you away."

Beast Boy stared blankly at her. "Think of nothing? How am I supposed to do that? And the 'let the darkness swallow and carry you away' part sounds kind of creepy. Are you sure you're teaching me how to meditate and not how to convert me into some kind of demon?"

Raven gave an exasperated sigh. "I thought that you'll know how to thing about nothing since you have virtually nothing in that head of yours."

Beast Boy crossed his arms. "And I thought that your head would have exploded by now since you have _so_ much stuff in it." He said sarcastically.

Raven ignored him and frowned in thought. "Okay, since you can't do that, I guess we'll start from the beginning. Now, I want you to conjure a mental image of something."

"Uhh…"

Raven gave Beast Boy an example. "I usually imagine I'm in the meditation chambers on Azarath. You can think of anything. From objects, to people, to places. You can think of parks, beaches, Titans Tower, even your room. Though I think it's too smelly and messy to focus."

* * *

Beast Boy closed his eyes again and searched his mind for something to think of. A mental picture of anything, huh? People, things or places. He didn't have any calming or pleasant memories about people, so that one is off the list. And there weren't a lot of things he could think of at the moment. He could only think of tofu, video games and television. All of the things 'Beast Boy' would think of.

So that left with places. A place. A particular position, point or area. A place that is peaceful and calming. Hmm…the rooftop? No, too open. The rocks at the base of the Tower? No, he usually goes there when he's depressed. It will bring up bad memories. What about the place of the last time he was truly happy? Waterfall? No! Not thinking that! Maybe, Africa? Yes, Africa. The lush green jungles of Upper Lumumba. He loved to explore the jungles. There was a small clearing in the jungle. Beast Boy used to sit on the jungle floor for hours just watching the animals go about their everyday lives.

Beast Boy summoned the image of the clearing in the jungle. "Okay, Rae, I got it."

"What is your mental picture?" Raven asked curiously.

"It's a place." Beast Boy said, refusing to elaborate further than that.

Raven looked like she wanted to push Beast Boy further for answers, but thought better of it. "Concentrate on the place. Imagine that you're there. Focus on your five senses. What can you see, feel, hear, taste and smell?" Raven gave Beast Boy a few minutes, then she continued, "Now, I want you to concentrate on your breathing. I don't want you to focus on it entirely, just be aware of it and feel each breath you take in."

"I keep thinking about other things. It's distracting me and it makes me unable to hold the mental picture." Beast Boy complained after a while.

"That's fine. That happens a lot for beginners. You are now more aware of your thoughts. Just keep focusing and in time the thoughts will fade." Raven replied.

Beast Boy tried to focus on every detail of the jungle and feel like he was part of it. Beast Boy breathed in deeply and exhaled. Inhale. Focus on the smell of the jungle. Exhale. Feel the wind blowing your face and hair. Inhale. Let the sounds of the jungle calm your mind. Exhale. Taste the small drops of rainwater that fell from the sky. And so it continued. It was a repetitive cycle, one Beast Boy never got tired of.

* * *

Beast Boy was suddenly jerked out of his meditative trance by a faraway voice. He focused. It seemed to be calling his name? Beast Boy let go and followed the voice, and instantly the mental image of the jungle shattered to pieces. Beast Boy opened his eyes and was instantly hit by a ray of bright light. Beast Boy quickly put up a hand to shield his eyes, slowly letting his eyes adjust to the brightness. Then he heard his name being called again. Beast Boy lowered his hand and turned to face the direction the voice was coming from.

"Raven? What's going on?" Beast Boy asked, looking confused.

"You have been meditating for nearly two hours." Raven informed him.

"What?! Two hours?!" Beast Boy said in shock. "Are you serious?"

Raven gestured to the windows. "Look, the sun raised half an hour ago. You were down here before dawn. Though, I must say, you didn't do too badly for a beginner." Raven admitted.

Beast Boy grinned. He knew that was as much of a compliment he could get from her. "Thanks! And thank you for teaching me how to meditate. My mind feels a lot clearer than it was this morning. I think I might be even up to a nap!"

Raven inclined her head, acknowledging Beast Boy's thanks. "I didn't tell you this earlier because you were so absorbed in your meditation, but you can say a mantra to help you focus."

"Like those three words you always say?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven nodded. "I say 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos' not only to help me focus, but also to control my powers. Saying it helps me to reign in my emotions. I've been meditating for so long and my powers are more restrained now that I don't really need to say that mantra anymore. Now I just say it out of habit."

"So what kind of mantra am I supposed to say?"

Raven shrugged. "Anything. The monks on Azarath mantra is 'Azar', which is the goddess of Azarath. Here on Earth, people do basically the same thing. They just say the name of their god, like 'Ra', 'Om' or just 'God'."

"Um, I'm not very religious. So I feel kind of uncomfortable saying those things." Beast Boy said hesitantly.

"You can say _anything_. Though I suggest saying something that has a meaning to you. You could say 'Re-lax', 'Inner Peace', 'Tranquility', whatever, it doesn't really matter."

Beast Boy thought for a moment. "Can I say it in another language? It doesn't have to be in English, right?"

"No. Any language is fine." Raven paused. "I didn't even know you can speak another language. You're bad enough in English, how can you even speak another language?"

Beast Boy smiled cheekily. "I'll let you in on a secret, Rae. English isn't my first language."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then what is?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out, isn't it?" Beast Boy said cheerily, standing up and walking away from the couch. Now he felt as if some of the weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He should have tried meditating years ago. Of course, he had the impression that meditating was for religious people or weird people like Raven, which was probably why he never tried.

The common room doors slid open just before Beast Boy reached them. Starfire floated in, a bright smile on her face.

"Greetings Friend Beast Boy! May I inquire to where you are going?"

"Hey, Star. I'm going to go for a little run outside before breakfast." Beast Boy answered, deciding to take that nap later.

"Glorious! Oh, after you've done your running, could you go to the room of training? I believe Friend Robin would like to speak to you." Starfire said.

"Uh, okay?" Beast Boy wondered what Robin needed this time. Robin really wasn't on the list of people he wanted to talk to right now. Beast Boy shrugged and left the common room. Oh, well, he'll find out soon enough.


	12. The Road to Freedom

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

The Road to Freedom

Cyborg and Robin entered the common room, carrying bags of groceries in their hands. They set down the bags at the kitchen counter and sorted through the various items. Robin nodded a greeting at Beast Boy, who was hanging upside down from the ceiling, looking bored out of his mind. Beast Boy waved, returning the greeting.

The two of them had finally managed to fix their friendship. Robin had given Beast Boy a heart-felt apology and promised he would never, ever send Beast Boy, or anyone else for that matter, to a Mental Institute ever again. Although Beast Boy had said it didn't matter, Robin felt relieved that he got this out of his conscience. Later, Robin taught Beast Boy some basic stretches to loosen his muscles. Beast Boy had felt even better from that exercise and from meditating. He now made it his priority to do some meditating and stretching everyday.

Robin walked over to the girls on the couch, where Starfire was explaining to Raven how the Tamaranean foot fungus could affect other parts of the body.

"Raven, Starfire, I need you to help me sort out some case files." Robin said.

Raven immediately shot up, relief clear on her face as she was freed from the imprisonment of listening to the revolting stories of foot fungus. Starfire looked disappointed that she didn't get to finish her explanation on foot fungus, but followed her teammates out of the room.

* * *

Cyborg watched as Robin led Raven and Starfire out of the common room. _Thanks Rob._ Robin has been more cooperative since he sorted things out with Beast Boy. But then again, maybe he just wants to have more time with Starfire.

"Yo, BB! Get down from there and help me prepare lunch!" Cyborg called, looking up at Beast Boy.

"Ugh, fine. It's not like I have anything better to do." Beast Boy mumbled, flipping in the air and landing on the floor in a crouch. He straightened up and joined Cyborg at the kitchen counter. "So, what are we having for lunch?"

"For once, we are going to have a healthy and nutritious meal. With all the junk we eat, I'm surprised none of us fell sick yet." Cyborg said.

Beast Boy looked surprised. "Really? I never took you for a dude to eat healthy food."

Cyborg shrugged and took out a chopping board. "Okay, so we need some chicken, minced pork, onion, lettuce, garlic and some Tamaranean spices." Cyborg took out each ingredient as he said them.

"What about my tofu?! And how can you eat chicken?! Do you know how many times I turned into a chicken and saved your life?!" Beast Boy shouted.

Cyborg waved his hand in dismissal. "You can turn into something else. And you shouldn't eat so much tofu. Now, what else do we need? Oh, yeah, can't use sunflower oil because Starfire is allergic to them for some reason, so palm oil will have to do."

Beast Boy was dumbfounded by Cyborg's behavior. If this was any other day, Cyborg would yell back at him that tofu is nasty and that eating meat is so much better. He tried again. "Hey, I'm not helping until you add tofu and take out that nasty meat out of that dish!"

Cyborg shot Beast Boy an incredulous look. "Are you kidding? Tofu would ruin the taste of the dish. And chicken is the main ingredient of this dish, I can't take it out. You can cook the tofu in a separate dish if you want, but it'd be better if you didn't."

Beast Boy had never felt more confused in his life. What's going on? Is this some sort of prank? "Tofu goes well with anything! It can even fix that nasty dish you are going to make!"

Cyborg sighed. "You know, BB, you don't have to eat tofu all the time. You're too short and skinny. While I do agree that tofu is healthy, it can't provide you with the nutrients other foods will give you. You should try to eat meat. I mean, have you ever tried it before, man? How do you know that it is bad if you never tried it?"

Beast Boy was once again at a loss for words. Here, he was presented with a chance to change, to prove that he was capable of more than just Beast Boy. He wanted to take that chance, as this was an opportunity that could only be given once in a lifetime. However, another part of him was afraid to change, afraid to lose the identity of Beast Boy. He shouldn't even be contemplating this, he should have just given Cyborg an answer he would expect from him.

Cyborg was looking at him hopefully, awaiting his response.

"Cy, why would you think I would even try meat? I mean, if the stench is anything to go by, I'll bet it tastes nasty." Beast Boy said, turning away from Cyborg and ignoring his friend's crestfallen expression. "Besides, it's not like you've tried tofu. If you tried it, maybe, _maybe_ I just might try to eat meat."

There. He said it. He would try. It wasn't much, but at least it was something. Maybe he could keep up the persona of Beast Boy, but change a few things. After all, being Beast Boy used to be enjoyable. Perhaps if he just let himself go, let his true personality and character show through Beast Boy it would be easier. He could try. No, he _will_try. He will do it when the other Titans come down later. He just hoped they wouldn't ask too many questions.

Cyborg brightened up. "Sure! I'll try your stinky tofu and you try the nice and delicious chicken. Deal?"

"Deal." Beast Boy answered, shaking Cyborg's outstretched hand.

"Good. Now come on, BB, it's almost twelve. If we're going to have lunch on time, we'll have to start cooking now." Cyborg said, adding some of the ingredients in a bowl and mixing them. "Hey, BB! Can you pass me the salt?"

"Sure, dude!" Beast Boy replied, tossing the salt bottle to Cyborg.

Beast Boy felt at ease hanging out with Cyborg. Cyborg was so easygoing and fun to be around. And when they chat or argue about stuff, it helps him forget about his problems.

* * *

Half an hour later, all of the Titans were at the kitchen table ready for their meal.

"Okay guys, dig in!" Cyborg yelled cheerfully.

"Mmm…this tastes most delicious, Friend Cyborg!" Starfire exclaimed after taking a bite.

There were murmurs of assent from Robin and Raven.

"So, BB, what do you think? Does it taste good?" Cyborg asked.

"I dunno. Does the tofu taste good?" Beast Boy shot back, cutting a piece of tofu and putting it on Cyborg's plate.

"Okay, okay, man! I'll try this white stuff." Cyborg poked the tofu cautiously and wrinkled his nose when it wriggled. _Relax, Cy. It's just jelly. Just got to stomach this disgusting white jelly. It's for Beast Boy. It's all for Beast Boy. Ugh, if I don't die from this 'thing', I will thank and praise every meat I see or smell for existing for the rest of my life. _Cyborg forked the tofu into his mouth and chewed it quickly before swallowing. "Hey…you know what? It's actually not that bad! It's just a bit bland. I think if you add some fried onion, coriander and some sauce, it would actually taste nice!"

Beast Boy stared at Cyborg in shock. Did he just….?

"Okay, BB, your turn!" Cyborg said, looking quite triumphant that he managed to overcome the not-quite monstrosity of tofu.

Beast Boy looked at his plate. The piece of chicken meat sat there innocently, giving off an alluring smell. It was so tempting. He had been resisting the urge to just gulp it down ever since the dish was laid on the table. This is it. But will he do it?

It was so long since the last time he ate meat. When he joined the Doom Patrol, Mento forced him to be a vegan as he had the idea that Beast Boy's more animalistic side might surface if he continued to eat meat. Beast Boy still had no idea why he continued to be a vegan when he joined the Titans. He knew that eating meat didn't affect his powers or anything because he had been eating meat and whatever stuff he could find in the years before he joined the Doom Patrol.

Beast Boy took a small bite of the chicken and the flavors immediately exploded in his mouth. He savored the taste of the meat, rolling his tongue behind his teeth.

Beast Boy looked up. Cyborg was staring at him expectantly, looking hopeful and worried at the same time. "Well?"

Beast Boy took his time answering. "It's…good."

"Alright, man! See? I told you meat was good!" Cyborg exclaimed.

"It's okay. Uh, tofu is still better than meat though!" Beast Boy said quickly.

"Yeah, who knew your nasty tofu wasn't so nasty? I think you must have added something to the tofu to make it smell bad."

"Whatever, dude." Beast Boy said, rolling his eyes and continued eating. He never thought he would ever eat meat again. Hmm…maybe he should have put up more of a fight when Cyborg tried to convince him to eat meat. Oh, darn! He forgot to mention that eating a chicken was like basically eating himself. Stupid mistake! But that is not the main problem. No, the problem is Cyborg. He was acting rather fishy.

Actually, now that he thought about it, all the Titans were acting fishy. First Raven offered to teach him how to meditate, and they actually held a decent conversation without arguing. Then Robin apologized, _really_ apologized to him, and taught him some stretches. Now Cyborg doesn't react to tofu and even eats it! Starfire has always been nice to him, but she was now nicer to him than normal. This is very good and all, but he now have a very big question: What on earth is going on?! Beast Boy had no idea what game they were playing, but he'd go along with it. It's a nice change, but he's still weirded out.

* * *

After lunch, the Titans lazed on the couch and chatted about normal teenage stuff. Beast Boy felt warm and comfortable after the meal. He did not pretend at all during the conversation. He spoke his mind and asserted himself when necessary. He did not do the typical Beast Boy thing and crack lame jokes or make lousy puns. He felt free. He felt as if he had rid himself of a great burden. It was a great feeling.

Maybe taking off the mask was easier than he thought. And his teammates, his friends, his _family_ were helping him do that, though they were unaware of that fact. Someday, Beast Boy won't need the mask anymore. He would be strong and confident enough to stand on his own two feet and face the world without hiding who he truly is. Someday…


	13. The Rules in Beast Boy's World

It's going to be 'The End' very soon!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

The Rules in Beast Boy's World

Beast Boy was blasting his music at top volume in his room when there was a knock on his door. Beast Boy sighed and hit the 'off' button on the radio. He opened his door and found Starfire standing there with her hands behind her back.

"Oh, hey…did you need something, Star?" Beast Boy asked.

"Um, I believe I do not. But I need to do the showing you of something. Please, may I enter your room of slumber?" Starfire questioned.

"Uh, sure!" Beast Boy said, opening the door wider to allow Starfire into his room. He watched uneasily as Starfire looked around his room. "So, what do you want to show me?"

Starfire immediately turned her attention back to Beast Boy, looking startled. "Oh! It is an item that I hope you would like. I do not know how to…well, I believe I should just present it to you." Starfire held her arms out, revealing a small scrapbook in her hands.

Beast Boy took the book, eyeing it curiously. The cover was adorned with stars and sparkles, which was Starfire's signature design. He opened the book carefully and turned to the first page. Beast Boy was surprised when he saw a few pictures of the Titans arranged neatly on the paper. Beast Boy noticed that he was always the main focus of the image in every picture he encountered. Beast Boy turned the page and found the same thing. There were a few group pictures of the Titans and some where they were just goofing around and having fun, but most of them contained Beast Boy.

Beast Boy looked up at Starfire. "Star…what is all this?"

Starfire smiled nervously. "I have compiled all pictures of you with the Titans together. This is to show you how much you mean to us, the Titans. Do you not like it?"

"Like it? I love it! This is great! Thanks for making this for me, Starfire." Beast Boy replied, grinning at her.

Starfire looked relieved. "I am most pleased that you like it, Friend Beast Boy."

"I can tell you put a lot of work and effort into this. I don't know how to repay you for all this."

"It was not a problem, Friend Beast Boy. You are my friend and I would gladly do the sacrificing of anything for you." Starfire answered.

Beast Boy smiled weakly at her and turned his attention back to the book. He flipped through the pages and saw more pictures, this time they contained some of the Honorary Titans and Titans East. As he got to the last few pages, Beast Boy found that the pictures were replaced with words. He examined it closely and realized that they were compliments and words of encouragement written by some of his friends.

_Hey, Beast Boy! I just wanted to say that you're my best friend on the surface world. And you're also the only friend I know that respects fish (not like a certain red-haired archer). You're a really smart guy; we wouldn't have been able to beat Trident and the Brotherhood of Evil without you. I hope we get to work together again sometime soon! ̴ Aqualad_

_Hi, green dude! I never really got to know you, because I was always arguing with that stick-in-the-mud Boy Wonder who thinks his hair is better than mine. But I can say you're quite okay for someone who's on Mr. Know-it-All's team. Your powers are really cool; I've never met a shape shifter before. They're way waaay cooler than fish dude, noisy little Spanish boys and over controlling bee girl. Well, see you around! ̴ Speedy_

_Heelllooo, Beast Boy! I think you're the only guy that can stand my craziness; it's probably because we're so similar, huh? Even Jinxy can't stand me, heh, she'd just hex me if I'm being too annoying. You're really fun to be around, BB! ̴ Kid Flash (but you can call me KF, all my friends do, except Rob. He thinks it's unprofessional to give nicknames)_

* * *

There were even more notes by other Titans on the next page, some of them just writing a few words, but the words were sincere.

_Hey. You're a good guy, Beast Boy. It was nice working with you. If you ever need a wrestling partner, I'm always free! ̴ Pantha_

_Beast Boy, this is me, Herald. I wanted to tell you that I hold a deep sense of respect for you ever since we defeated the Brotherhood of Evil. You gave us hope when we were ready to give up, when we were convinced we had already lost. There should be more people like you around. The world needs it. ̴ Herald_

_Hi! Remember me? I'm the guy on the mountain that likes to play with the guitar. I was just wondering: have you ever thought of leading your own team? I think you would make a great leader. ̴ Jericho_

_Hi, Beast Boy! Greetings from the North Pole! I can say that you're one of the friendliest on the Titans and I'm glad that I know you. ̴ Kole and Gnaark (P.S. Gnaark can't write, but he says 'hi' and hopes that you and the Titans visit soon)_

_Hey. Kind of busy destroying robots right now, but your pretty alien friend here insists that I write something. So I'll say that you seem pretty cool and easygoing, opposite of me. I'm pretty envious of you. Okay, got to go now, a robot just trashed my home, and I'm __reeaallly__ mad, so I should stop writing before I burn a hole in this book. ̴ Hotspot_

* * *

Beast Boy was speechless. This all felt so unreal. Beast Boy looked at the other pages and saw that each and every Titan and Honorary Titan had written something. There were even a few comments written by some of their allies, like Galfore (though half of the message was in Tamaranean), Spike and others.

"Wow, Star, I don't know what to say. How did you do all this? Did you fly around asking everyone to write something?"

Starfire flushed. "Yes, I believe I did. Some of the Titans of Honorary did not want to write something as they claimed they were 'too busy'. However, I was able to convince them upon the threat of being burned by starbolts."

Beast Boy laughed at that. "I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of any of your starbolts. So, did you go to Tamaran and force Galfore to write something as well?"

Starfire nodded. "I took the opportunity of the lack of criminal activity to visit Tamaran. Unfortunately, Galfore does not know how to write in English very well and his writing is also indiscernible. I believe he reverted back to Tamaranean after the first sentence. I shall provide you with a translation if you so wish."

"Yeah, that'd be helpful. All I see is some weird squiggly lines and funny symbols." Beast Boy said, staring quizzically at the Tamaranean words. "Anyway, Starfire, I really appreciate this. No one has ever done something like this for me before. All these words, they made me feel like…I'm wanted, like I'm actually needed, because all these people make it sound like my presence is welcome."

Starfire frowned. "But you _are_ needed! We would not have done the forming of the Teen Titans if it was not for your insistence!"

Beast Boy shrugged. "Meh. You guys would have formed a team eventually." Seeing Starfire's lips turn downwards at his statement, he quickly changed the subject. "So I'm guessing the remarks from our team are at the back of the book?"

Starfire pursed her lips and inclined her head. "The writings from our team are rather lengthy, so I shall take my leave while you do the reading."

"Uh, okay. Thanks again, Star." Beast Boy said, trying to make their conversation end on a good note. A vexed Tamaranean was the last thing he needed right now.

"It was nothing, Friend Beast Boy." Starfire said dismissively, before flying out of his room.

_Well, at least she called me _Friend_ Beast Boy. So I think we're okay. _Beast Boy thought.

* * *

Beast Boy glanced at the pages where his teammates wrote something, well a lot of something. Starfire wasn't kidding when she said it was lengthy, especially the fourth person's writing. He'll read it later, Beast Boy decided; now, he just wanted to think about all the nice things everyone said about him.

Beast Boy flopped down on his bed and turned the pages lazily, smiling at the words and pictures. He was about to put the book away when something caught his eye. Beast Boy went back to the previous page and began to wonder how he had missed this. All over the page were scribbles and signatures from civilians. Civilians! They were praising him!

There were even a few girls that added their phone number and asking him to call them. No, wait, scratch that, there were a _lot_ of girls that wrote down their phone number. Three of the pages were occupied by civilians' remarks and comments. Some of them had even said that he was their favorite hero! Beast Boy's heart was bursting with joy. The smile on his face was so wide it was stretched almost completely over his face.

Once again, Beast Boy wondered how he could have missed this. He tugged at the page gently, then realized why. A few of the pages were stuck together with a thin layer of glue. Beast Boy was puzzled. Why would Starfire stick a few pages together unless…? Beast Boy frowned, fingering a page, which was suspiciously thick. He carefully pulled on each side of the page revealing two pages hidden in between.

Beast Boy smiled wryly. _Clever, Star. Really clever._ She must have meant it as a surprise, which explains why she had left so hurriedly, Beast Boy realized.

Beast Boy shut the book and tossed it aside. He closed his eyes with a sigh. He still had a few hours before he had to go on night patrol with Cyborg and Raven. Beast Boy chuckled. It was funny how a few words could lighten his mood. It was nice to feel appreciated by people. Beast Boy was going to enjoy this feeling while it lasted. For all he knew, this could be just a really nice dream and tomorrow he'll wake up in a nightmare. Because in Beast Boy's world, nothing is ever sunshine and bunnies forever.


	14. A Small Smile Can Brighten Up the Day

This is actually part 2 of the previous chapter. It was supposed to be one chapter, but then it got too long. (3000 words) So I split the chapter and did some editing, adding a few more paragraphs to each part. Starfire's part in helping Beast Boy is a little different, because I wanted to include the other Titans in it too.

This is the second to last chapter, guys! Next chapter will be 'The End'!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

A Small Smile Can Brighten Up the Day

Beast Boy entered his room and snatched up the scrapbook that Starfire gave him yesterday. He was in dire need of a perk me up right now. It was a horrible day. The Titans had got caught by Mad Mod _again_. They spent the better half of an hour trying to get out of their bonds, and when they did, Mad Mod had already robbed five banks. The Titans chased Mad Mod around the city for almost three hours before they finally captured him. They had returned to the Tower and retreated to their own rooms, exhausted and disgruntled.

Beast Boy sat down against his lower bunk bed on the floor. He wiped off some sweat on his forehead and decreased the temperature for the air conditioner in his room. Beast Boy opened the scrapbook and went back to where he had left off yesterday. He scanned the pictures with a disinterested eye and turned to the next page. He kept flipping through the pages until he got to the page where his teammates wrote something. _Finally, something to read! I hope this will distract me from the heat._

* * *

_Beast Boy, you are an idiot. Do you know how much trouble you gave us these past few weeks? We couldn't sleep properly because we were worrying about you! I can't believe that you think we didn't care about you or that you think so little of yourself. I seem to be the more likely person to think about that kind of thing. I know sometimes I blow up at you and throw you out the window, but you were asking for it. You have a death wish if you bug me in the mornings. You know that I'm not a morning person. _

_I still don't understand you, Beast Boy; because how can you be so depressed when you have the perfect life? You have a home, you have friends, you're popular and you're also good-looking. Anyone else would have craved for life like that. I was always jealous how easy it was for you to be happy and smile every day. I may not show it much, but I do care for you. You are my friend, and if anything is troubling you, I'll do all in my power to help you. I swear, next time you have a problem or anything and don't come to any of us for help, I'll send you to another dimension! I don't care how small the problem is, if you don't seek help, you'll be more worried about how fast giant demons can devour a human! ̴ Raven _

Beast Boy stared at Raven's words for a moment longer. _Okaaay, so that wasn't exactly a perk me up. _But it was nice to know Raven cared. What do you know? Raven had a heart after all! Okay, so maybe that was a little mean, he knew Raven had emotions and stuff; she just couldn't and didn't want to show it. Beast Boy looked at the little illustration below Raven's writing. It showed what she would do to him next time he didn't ask for help when he needed it. The drawing looked rather grisly and horrifying. Beast Boy shuddered at the image of Raven eviscerating him. He quickly moved on to the next page.

* * *

Beast Boy correctly guessed that the writing written in purple ink was Starfire's. There were a few mistakes in her writing and a few places where Tamaranean words took over, indicating her difficulty in grasping the English language.

_Greetings, Friend Beast Boy! Of all of my Earthen friends, you are the one I enjoy doing the hanging out with most! Friend Robin is an exception, but you are more enjoyable to be around than Friend Raven and Friend Cyborg. That is the reason I was truly upset when you felt that you do not feel that you belong on this team. _

_On my planet, we would give those that were feeling underappreciated a chain of barflarks and sing to them all the poems of Appreciation. However, I was informed it was not customary to do this on Earth. Due to that, I have made this book of scraps to show you how much of the meaning you have to us and everyone else._

_Friend Beast Boy, I would like to do the thanking of you for giving me friendship, the love, much of the comforting and my little bumgorf Silkie. I do not know where I would be if I did not have any of these things. I know that I will not be able to do the paying back for all you have given me, but I will still do the trying. Because you always do the trying and never lose the hope, so I shall do the same! ̴ Sincerely, Starfire, your BFF, yes? (I have asked Robin about the meaning of the word and he had said that it meant friends that would be best forever. However, he told me that it was not professional of the heroes to use the word. Then I asked Friend Cyborg and he said it was the okay to use the word and that Friend Robin was just being the 'uptight'.)_

Beast Boy shifted uncomfortably. Even when just reading Starfire's words, he felt guilty for putting the Titans through this much trouble. It was even worse because this was coming from Starfire. At least with Raven or the other Titans, they'll just get angry and a little worried. _Alright, moving on!_ Beast Boy flipped to the next page.

* * *

_Robin, I suppose._ Beast Boy thought dryly, raising an eyebrow at the word written neatly in print. There was even spacing between each word. _Geez, you'd think he was writing to the mayor with how neat it is! Does the Bat teach them how to _write_ too?!_

_Beast Boy, you are a very important and valued member of this team. In fact, you are irreplaceable. I can't think of any other person I would rather like on this team than you. All of you serve a different purpose on this team. You have the most difficult task: putting a smile on our faces. That is easy to do for Starfire and Cyborg, but it is nigh impossible for Raven and I. But still, you try. I admire your determination. I usually don't worry about trivial things like this, being trained by the Bat and all, but it is healthy for all of us to try to smile and laugh every day. You help us do that, though most of the time you do it at your expense, which is something I can never do, and won't do for that matter. (I prefer my dignity intact, thank you very much) _

_You know, sometimes, I feel like you're holding back, especially when we're fighting. When we go up against a villain, it seems like you deliberately slow yourself down. I don't know if you're doing this for us or for yourself, but I advice strongly against it. You have the potential to be better. And Beast Boy, if you need help on anything, I'll be willing to help, as long as it doesn't involve long conversations and heart to hearts. For that, I suggest you go to Starfire or Cyborg. Even Raven will be a better choice than me. (She is surprisingly good at giving advice when she wants to) I would know how to talk with people if I didn't have Mr. Tall, Dark and Broody as my mentor. Apparently, learning how to hold a proper conversation is not counted as a necessity for a crime fighter. ̴ Robin (Once this is over, I'm getting you back for the pink glitter in my hair gel thing)_

Beast Boy smirked slightly at the last bit. So he didn't forget about the hair gel thing. And he's right. Robin _did _suck at conversations, except when he's talking about Titan business.

* * *

Beast Boy flicked his eyes to the next page. _So, I've read Raven, Starfire and Robin…so that leaves me with Cyborg. _

_Hey, BB! You are my bestest best friend in the whole universe! You are my first real friend. Back in my old school, people only hung out with me because I was popular. So you are the first person that approached me and really wanted to be my friend. I brushed you off at first because after my accident I didn't really trust anyone and the last thing I wanted was some fake friend who will backstab me eventually. _

_You know, BB, I think all of us take you for granted. I mean, I don't know what we'll do if you weren't on this team. You bring light and happiness. Without you, the Tower would be so much more desolate. Starfire may lift our spirits with her bright smiles, but even she can do so much. You are the one that lighten our day the most. So don't ever leave this team, okay? (Yeah, I heard you talking to yourself the other day, wondering if you should leave the team or not. I wanted to smack your head when I heard that, because how could you even think of such a thing?) _

_We might act as though we are annoyed or irritated at you sometimes, but we all have our days. Sometimes, I'm irritated at Raven's moody behavior and even Starfire's happiness when I'm down in the dumps. And I can't stand Robin's obsessions and paranoia most of the time. So excuse us if we get angry at you or anything. You're a wonderful person, Beast Boy. Don't let anyone tell you any different. If they do, they're probably just jealous. _

_You know, you're like family to me, BB. All of you guys are. You're like my little brother. Sometimes I just want to gather you in my arms and squeeze you. But I won't do that because it's not a manly thing to do, I'll leave that sort of thing to Starfire. Anyway, Beast Boy, just remember that you can come to me or any of the other Titans if you ever need help, okay? ̴ Cyborg_

Beast Boy felt touched. Cyborg had called him 'brother'. He had always felt that the Titans were like his family. And now that Cyborg admitted that he felt the same way…he didn't know what to think. Beast Boy wondered if the other Titans thought of him as family. He knew Starfire compared him sometimes to her own brother and always made a delighted and sorrowful sound when she caught a similarity he shared with her long lost brother. So Starfire might, she might, think of him as family. As for Robin and Raven…they probably thought of him as a really good friend and teammate. With how closed off those two are, it was quite a feat that they even considered him their friend.

After finding out how his teammates thought about him, Beast Boy could feel a stronger bond with them. It was like a barrier had come down between them; or rather,_ one_ of the barriers. Beast Boy got up and turned off the air conditioner and lights. He exited his room, eager to spend more time with his teammates. They were probably holed up in their rooms, grumbling at how hot and tired they felt. They would probably ignore him or throw him out of their rooms when he bothered them, but Beast Boy didn't care. His job was to brighten up their day. Seeing a smile on their faces was enough, even if he had to do it at his expense.


	15. Family

This chapter is a little short, but I have a valid reason for that; it's the last chapter!

I would like to thank all followers for following this story, all readers who have favorited this story and everyone that have reviewed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

* * *

Family

The Titans lounged on the couch in the common room. All of them had a smile on their faces; even Raven had allowed a small smile to form on her face as she read her book. These past few months had been hard. All of them worked hard to lift Beast Boy's spirits and make him feel included on the team. It was hard, but they had finally managed to bring the spark back to Beast Boy's eyes. The spark wasn't back completely, but it was there, and that was good enough for the Titans.

At first, when the Titans tried to help, Beast Boy had only gotten worse, drowning in depression and self-hatred. Then the Titans realized their mistake. They had wanted the old Beast Boy back, the goofy happy-go-lucky kid that always made a fool of himself. They couldn't have him back because he was never really there. So the Titans had to learn to accept the changes in Beast Boy and help him regain himself. To their relief, the new Beast Boy wasn't all that much different than the old one. He still smiled a lot, though it was more genuine and made jokes, though they weren't as lame as before and actually made sense.

The main difference in Beast Boy was that he now accepted more variety in his diet. He had accidentally confessed that he actually hated tofu and preferred meat and leafy vegetables. To say the Titans were shocked was an understatement. Raven blew up the whole kitchen counter and Starfire had nearly dropped the entire stack of plates she was carrying. Cyborg blacked out as his systems shut down, not able to process the information. And Robin had dropped his jaw, mouth gaping in a way very unbecoming of a leader.

Beast Boy also used his intelligence more often now. When they were solving a case, they could crack it faster with Beast Boy's input. He had required a few promptings at the beginning, but soon he gave away his knowledge and theories without breaking a sweat. He even looked proud to show off what he knew. There were still some instances where he kept quiet and feigned confusion on a particular subject, but most of the time he didn't hide what he knew.

The Titans now held more respect for Beast Boy. Raven didn't insult him anymore, or when she did, she said it in a playful way and made sure there was no malice in her voice. She also made it a point to insult Robin and Cyborg so that it didn't look like she was picking on Beast Boy out of spite. Robin was now a little more open and interacted with his friends more often. He had less moody and broody sessions and didn't push his teammates so hard during training anymore.

Starfire was even more joyful, if that was even possible, and had took it upon herself to make sure her friends moods didn't drop below eighty percent on her scale of happiness. She forced her teammates to join in more activities together and didn't even let Raven skip out on those activities. Cyborg had grown closer to Beast Boy and they now trusted each other with some of their secrets.

* * *

The other Titans had formed a stronger bond with Beast Boy now that they understood him better. In doing so, they have also strengthened their friendship with each other. They have learnt to appreciate one another and enjoy the presence of each other. Raven started spending more time with her teammates and didn't hide in her room as often as she did before. She also expressed her emotions more freely. Starfire tried not to limit herself to only spending time with one or two teammates and strived to spend an equal amount of time with all of her friends.

Cyborg made a very tough decision that nearly broke his heart. He had forced himself to spend more time with his friends than his 'baby'. It was difficult for him to adapt at first, but he soon enjoyed joking and laughing with his friends more than tinkering with his car. Robin was adamant to stay to his old habits at first, but soon, he started to hang out with the other Titans more and leave his work behind in the confines of his room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Beast Boy had found more meaning in his life. He didn't feel like he was struggling to get through everyday anymore. He realized he was wrong. His friends did care for him. They didn't think he was a freak. Even other people, the civilians liked him, accepted him. It was like they didn't even notice his green skin! They didn't think he was a vile, disgusting thing.

However, there were some people out there that still hated him. Beast Boy was always upset by this fact and he was hurt by the insults they threw at him. Then he realized that these people didn't only hate him. They hated all heroes and metas. There were other heroes that had been called names that were even worse than the ones he was called. These people were jealous of them. They were jealous that these heroes had superpowers and those that didn't have the ability and talent to fight.

Now that Beast Boy knew this, he felt relieved. These people were only pointing out his flaws in hopes of weakening him and pulling him down. He was letting all this remarks get to him when they didn't mean anything. To be a stronger person, Beast Boy must not let these petty things bother him. He is aware of his flaws and weaknesses, and he'll strive to work harder to fix these flaws, but he'll not let it affect him. If he did, then he'd be letting those hero-haters win.

* * *

Beast Boy looked up from the comic book he was reading and glanced up at the other Titans. They looked back at him and smiled. Beast Boy grinned and turned back to his book. None of them were really paying attention to what they were doing. They just wanted an excuse to keep them in the common room and be with each other. They kept exchanging glances with each other, smile, and tried to return to what they were doing before. Each of the Titans felt comfortable and relaxed among each other. Because when you're with family, no words needed to be said, as being in their company is enough.


End file.
